As a “case,” he puzzled them. The wounds were healing, slowly, very
slowly. Thinking to cheer him, they told him of his progress. It
appeared to have no interest for him. He was content to drowze away the
hours: watching his leg move up and down for its dressing; listening to
the murmur of the ward. For he had lived in a year, this broken man who
lay there so quietly, a thousand aeons of terror. He had walked, unarmed
and alone, through countless caverns of fear. Now, fear had departed;
and the mind took its revenge for long coercion, refused to function.
The mind knew that its body would not die; and with that knowledge, was
content. . . .
They pronounced him “out of danger.” Nurse Prothero brought him many
letters. He read them languidly. It appeared that Peter had been moving
heaven and earth to find out if he lived: Patricia wrote asking him if
he wanted books, cigarettes: Prout wrote and sent on a package of
press-cuttings: his name had been in the “Roll of Honour”: the literary
press of England noticed him, praised him, printed his photograph in
their columns. But Francis Gordon cared for none of these old things. He
wanted Beatrice!
He used to lie there, hour after hour, screened from the world, thinking
of her. His mind went back to days before the War, and he saw himself as
he had been: the tango-dancing champagne-bibbing egotist, very proud of
his little literary achievements, neither good nor bad, merely a
drifter. He saw himself, ruined financially, miserable. And he met her
again, in his dreams; sailed with her, once again, the tropic seas of
their delight.
Beatrice, the Woman Denied! Surely that God who had once denied her to
him, calling him unworthy, would not refuse her to him now. Surely, now,
he might say to himself, in clean pride: “I have done my Work; paid full
price for any happiness this world can offer me?” . . .
And then, five weeks after he had written, came her cable: “Am anxious,”
she wired, “have you told me the truth about your wounds.” He spread the
cablegram on his bed; read it again and again. Intuition, sounder than
judgment, told him the truth. To this girl, five thousand miles removed
from the cataclysm of Europe, he stood for “heroism”—a vague figure
dowered with all the virtues of war. It needed only a word, a _weak_
word, to make her love him.
The mere thought was a flaring temptation. Why not? If ever man had
earned woman. . . .
When the doctor made his midday visit, Francis—looking down at his
swathed legs—asked one straight question.
“You mean,” said the doctor, “is there any reason, any physical reason,
why you should not marry?”
“Exactly, doctor.”
“None whatever.”
“But I shall always be more or less a cripple?”
“You will walk with a limp—a slight limp. That isn’t being a cripple.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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