One individual, however, was daily pining away before my eyes—my faithful
Bendel, who was the victim of silent self-reproach, tormenting himself
with the idea that he had betrayed the confidence reposed in him by a
good master, in failing to recognise the individual in quest of whom he
had been sent, and with whom he had been led to believe that my
melancholy fate was closely connected. Still, I had nothing to accuse
him with, as I recognised in the occurrence the mysterious character of
the unknown.
In order to leave no means untried, I one day despatched Bendel with a
costly ring to the most celebrated artist in the town, desiring him to
wait upon me. He came; and, dismissing the attendants, I secured the
door, placing myself opposite to him, and, after extolling his art, with
a heavy heart came to the point, first enjoining the strictest secrecy.
“For a person,” said I, “who most unfortunately has lost his shadow,
could you paint a false one?”
“Do you speak of the natural shadow?”
“Precisely so.”
“But,” he asked, “by what awkward negligence can a man have lost his
shadow?”
“How it occurred,” I answered, “is of no consequence; but it was in this
manner”—(and here I uttered an unblushing falsehood)—“he was travelling
in Russia last winter, and one bitterly cold day it froze so intensely,
that his shadow remained so fixed to the ground, that it was found
impossible to remove it.”
“The false shadow that I might paint,” said the artist, “would be liable
to be lost on the slightest movement, particularly in a person who, from
your account, cares so little about his shadow. A person without a
shadow should keep out of the sun, that is the only safe and rational
plan.”
He rose and took his leave, casting so penetrating a look at me that I
shrunk from it. I sank back in my chair, and hid my face in my hands.
In this attitude Bendel found me, and was about to withdraw silently and
respectfully on seeing me in such a state of grief: looking up,
overwhelmed with my sorrows, I felt that I must communicate them to him.
“Bendel,” I exclaimed, “Bendel, thou the only being who seest and
respectest my grief too much to inquire into its cause—thou who seemest
silently and sincerely to sympathise with me—come and share my
confidence. The extent of my wealth I have not withheld from thee,
neither will I conceal from thee the extent of my grief. Bendel! forsake
me not. Bendel, you see me rich, free, beneficent; you fancy all the
world in my power; yet you must have observed that I shun it, and avoid
all human intercourse. You think, Bendel, that the world and I are at
variance; and you yourself, perhaps, will abandon me, when I acquaint you
with this fearful secret. Bendel, I am rich, free, generous; but, O God,
I have _no shadow_!”
“No shadow!” exclaimed the faithful young man, tears starting from his
eyes. “Alas! that I am born to serve a master without a shadow!” He was
silent, and again I hid my face in my hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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