Oh, my Chamisso! I trust thou hast not forgotten what love is! I must
here leave much to thine imagination. Minna was in truth an amiable and
excellent maiden: her whole soul was wrapped up in me, and in her lowly
thoughts of herself she could not imagine how she had deserved a single
thought from me. She returned love for love with all the full and
youthful fervour of an innocent heart; her love was a true woman’s love,
with all the devotion and total absence of selfishness which is found
only in woman; she lived but in me, her whole soul being bound up in
mine, regardless what her own fate might be.
Yet I, alas, during those hours of wretchedness—hours I would even now
gladly recall—how often have I wept on Bendel’s bosom, when after the
first mad whirlwind of passion I reflected, with the keenest
self-upbraidings, that I, a shadowless man, had, with cruel selfishness,
practised a wicked deception, and stolen away the pure and angelic heart
of the innocent Minna!
At one moment I resolved to confess all to her; then that I would fly for
ever; then I broke out into a flood of bitter tears, and consulted Bendel
as to the means of meeting her again in the forester’s garden.
At times I flattered myself with great hopes from the near approaching
visit of the unknown; then wept again, because I saw clearly on
reflection that they would end in disappointment. I had made a
calculation of the day fixed on by the fearful being for our interview;
for he had said in a year and a day, and I depended on his word.
The parents were worthy old people, devoted to their only child; and our
mutual affection was a circumstance so overwhelming that they knew not
how to act. They had never dreamed for a moment that the _Count_ could
bestow a thought on their daughter; but such was the case—he loved and
was beloved. The pride of the mother might not have led her to consider
such an alliance quite impossible, but so extravagant an idea had never
entered the contemplation of the sounder judgment of the old man. Both
were satisfied of the sincerity of my love, and could but put up prayers
to Heaven for the happiness of their child.
A letter which I received from Minna about that time has just fallen into
my hands. Yes, these are the characters traced by her own hand. I will
transcribe the letter:—
“I am indeed a weak, foolish girl to fancy that the friend I so tenderly
love could give an instant’s pain to his poor Minna! Oh no! thou art so
good, so inexpressibly good! But do not misunderstand me. I will accept
no sacrifice at thy hands—none whatever. Oh heavens! I should hate
myself! No; thou hast made me happy, thou hast taught me to love thee.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account