Alone on the wild heath, I disburdened my heart of an insupportable load
by giving free vent to my tears. But I saw no bounds, no relief, to my
surpassing wretchedness; and I drank in the fresh poison which the
mysterious stranger had poured into my wounds with a furious avidity. As
I retraced in my mind the loved image of my Minna, and depicted her sweet
countenance all pale and in tears, such as I had beheld her in my late
disgrace, the bold and sarcastic visage of Rascal would ever and anon
thrust itself between us. I hid my face, and fled rapidly over the
plains; but the horrible vision unrelentingly pursued me, till at last I
sank breathless on the ground, and bedewed it with a fresh torrent of
tears—and all this for a shadow!—a shadow which one stroke of the pen
would repurchase. I pondered on the singular proposal, and on my
hesitation to comply with it. My mind was confused—I had lost the power
of judging or comprehending. The day was waning apace. I satisfied the
cravings of hunger with a few wild fruits, and quenched my thirst at a
neighbouring stream. Night came on; I threw myself down under a tree,
and was awoke by the damp morning air from an uneasy sleep, in which I
had fancied myself struggling in the agonies of death. Bendel had
certainly lost all trace of me, and I was glad of it. I did not wish to
return among my fellow-creatures—I shunned them as the hunted deer flies
before its pursuers. Thus I passed three melancholy days.
I found myself on the morning of the fourth on a sandy plain, basking in
the rays of the sun, and sitting on a fragment of rock; for it was sweet
to enjoy the genial warmth of which I had so long been deprived. Despair
still preyed on my heart. Suddenly a slight sound startled me; I looked
round, prepared to fly, but saw no one. On the sunlit sand before me
flitted the shadow of a man not unlike my own; and wandering about alone,
it seemed to have lost its master. This sight powerfully excited me.
“Shadow!” thought I, “art thou in search of thy master? in me thou shalt
find him.” And I sprang forward to seize it, fancying that could I
succeed in treading so exactly in its traces as to step in its footmarks,
it would attach itself to me, and in time become accustomed to me, and
follow all my movements.
The shadow, as I moved, took to flight, and I commenced a hot chase after
the airy fugitive, solely excited by the hope of being delivered from my
present dreadful situation; the bare idea inspired me with fresh strength
and vigour.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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