My dreadful fate now stared me in the face in all its gigantic and
unchangeable horror. The source of tears was exhausted within me; no
groans escaped my breast; but with cool indifference I bared my
unprotected head to the blast. “Bendel,” said I, “you know my fate; this
heavy visitation is a punishment for my early sins: but as for thee, my
innocent friend, I can no longer permit thee to share my destiny. I will
depart this very night—saddle me a horse—I will set out alone. Remain
here, Bendel—I insist upon it: there must be some chests of gold still
left in the house—take them, they are thine. I shall be a restless and
solitary wanderer on the face of the earth; but should better days arise,
and fortune once more smile propitiously on me, then I will not forget
thy steady fidelity; for in hours of deep distress thy faithful bosom has
been the depository of my sorrows.” With a bursting heart, the worthy
Bendel prepared to obey this last command of his master; for I was deaf
to all his arguments and blind to his tears. My horse was brought—I
pressed my weeping friend to my bosom—threw myself into the saddle, and,
under the friendly shades of night, quitted this sepulchre of my
existence, indifferent which road my horse should take; for now on this
side the grave I had neither wishes, hopes, nor fears.
After a short time I was joined by a traveller on foot, who, after
walking for a while by the side of my horse, observed that as we both
seemed to be travelling the same road, he should beg my permission to lay
his cloak on the horse’s back behind me, to which I silently assented.
He thanked me with easy politeness for this trifling favour, praised my
horse, and then took occasion to extol the happiness and the power of the
rich, and fell, I scarcely know how, into a sort of conversation with
himself, in which I merely acted the part of listener. He unfolded his
views of human life and of the world, and, touching on metaphysics,
demanded an answer from that cloudy science to the question of
questions—the answer that should solve all mysteries. He deduced one
problem from another in a very lucid manner, and then proceeded to their
solution.
You may remember, my dear friend, that after having run through the
school-philosophy, I became sensible of my unfitness for metaphysical
speculations, and therefore totally abstained from engaging in them.
Since then I have acquiesced in some things, and abandoned all hope of
comprehending others; trusting, as you advised me, to my own plain sense
and the voice of conscience to direct and, if possible, maintain me in
the right path.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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