"I am obliged to them. Now I have a little advice to offer you. In the first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for me, not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next place, never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and ungentleman-like, the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I never touch spirit myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will refrain from it also. Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms arrive, you will repair on board. Good morning." I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused with the testimony of the midshipman, so much at variance with the language and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts, I found all the midshipmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them all that had passed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and said that they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one who had called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call it lying." "Pray, Mr Bottlegreen, do you refer to me?" "Yes, I do," replied I. "Then, sir, as a gentleman I demand satisfaction. Slugs in a saw-pit. Death before dishonour, damn me!" "Could not the affair be arranged otherwise?" interrupted another. "Will not Mr Bottlegreen retract?" "My name is Simple, sir, and not Bottlegreen," replied I; "and as he did tell a falsehood, I will not retract?" "Then the affair must go on," said the midshipman. "Robinson, will you oblige me by acting as my second?" "It's an unpleasant business," replied the other, "you are so good a shot; but as you request it, I shall not refuse. Mr Simple is not, I believe, provided with a friend." "Yes, he is," replied another of the midshipmen. "He is a spunky fellow, and I'll be his second." It was then arranged that we should meet the next morning with pistols. I considered that, as an officer and a gentleman, I could not well refuse, but I was very unhappy. I went up into my room and wrote a long letter to my mother, enclosing a lock of my hair, and having shed a few tears at the idea of how sorry she would be if I were killed, I borrowed a Bible from the waiter, and read it during the remainder of the day. CHAPTER FOUR. I AM TAUGHT ON A COLD MORNING, BEFORE BREAKFAST, HOW TO STAND FIRE, AND THUS PROVE MY COURAGE--AFTER BREAKFAST I ALSO PROVE MY GALLANTRY--MY PROOF MEETS REPROOF--WOMEN AT THE BOTTOM OF ALL MISCHIEF--BY ONE I LOSE MY LIBERTY, AND, BY ANOTHER, MY MONEY.