"I thought myself very clever in this business, but I was never a greater fool in my life; for there was no such hurry to have gone on shore, and the first lieutenant never forgave me for appealing to the captain--but of that by-and-bye, and all in good time. At last I obtained a grumbling assent to my going on shore, and off I went like a sky rocket. Being in a desperate hurry, I hired a jaunting car to take me to my father's house. `Is it the O'Brien of Ballyhinch that you mane?' inquired the spalpeen who drove the horse. `Sure it is,' replied I; `and how is he, and all the noble family of the O'Briens?' `All well enough, bating the boy Tim, who caught a bit of confusion in his head the other night at the fair, and now lies at home in bed quite insensible to mate or drink; but the doctors give hopes of his recovery, as all the O'Briens are known to have such thick heads.' `What do mane by that, bad manners to you?' said I; `but poor Tim--how did it happen-- was there a fight?' `Not much of a fight--only a bit of a skrummage-- three crowner's inquests, no more.' `But you are not going the straight road, you thief,' said I, seeing that he had turned off to the left. `Is your honour in a hurry to get home? Then I'll be thinking they'll not be in such a hurry to see you.' `And who told you that my name was O'Brien, you baste?--and do you dare to say that my friends won't be glad to see me?' `Plase your honour, it's all an idea of mine--so say no more about it. Only this I know; Father McGrath, who gives me absolution, tould me the other day that I ought to pay him and not run in debt, and then run away, like Terence O'Brien, who went to say without paying for his shirts, and his shoes, and his stockings, nor anything else, and who would live to be hanged, as sure as St. Patrick swam over the Liffey with his head under his arm.' `Bad luck to that Father McGrath,' cried I; `devil burn me, but I'll be revenged upon him!'