Petty Troubles of Married Life, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
Petty Troubles of Married Life, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage
FIRST EPOCH. Things go on altogether too well. Caroline buys little
account books to keep a list of her expenses in, she buys a nice little
piece of furniture to store her money in, she feeds Adolphe superbly,
she is happy in his approbation, she discovers that very many articles
are needed in the house. It is her ambition to be an incomparable
housekeeper. Adolphe, who arrogates to himself the right of censorship,
no longer finds the slightest suggestion to make.
When he dresses himself, everything is ready to his hands. Not even in
Armide’s garden was more ingenious tenderness displayed than that of
Caroline. For her phoenix husband, she renews the wax upon his razor
strap, she substitutes new suspenders for old ones. None of his
button-holes are ever widowed. His linen is as well cared for as that of
the confessor of the devotee, all whose sins are venial. His stockings
are free from holes. At table, his tastes, his caprices even, are
studied, consulted: he is getting fat! There is ink in his inkstand,
and the sponge is always moist. He never has occasion to say, like
Louis XIV, “I came near having to wait!” In short, he hears himself
continually called _a love of a man_. He is obliged to reproach Caroline
for neglecting herself: she does not pay sufficient attention to her own
needs. Of this gentle reproach Caroline takes note.
SECOND EPOCH. The scene changes, at table. Everything is exceedingly
dear. Vegetables are beyond one’s means. Wood sells as if it came from
Campeche. Fruit? Oh! as to fruit, princes, bankers and great lords alone
can eat it. Dessert is a cause of ruin. Adolphe often hears Caroline say
to Madame Deschars: “How do you manage?” Conferences are held in your
presence upon the proper way to keep cooks under the thumb.
A cook who entered your service without effects, without clothes, and
without talent, has come to get her wages in a blue merino gown, set
off by an embroidered neckerchief, her ears embellished with a pair of
ear-rings enriched with small pearls, her feet clothed in comfortable
shoes which give you a glimpse of neat cotton stockings. She has two
trunks full of property, and keeps an account at the savings bank.
Upon this Caroline complains of the bad morals of the lower classes:
she complains of the education and the knowledge of figures which
distinguish domestics. From time to time she utters little axioms like
the following: There are some mistakes you _must_ make!--It’s only
those who do nothing who do everything well.--She has the anxieties
that belong to power.--Ah! men are fortunate in not having a house to
keep.--Women bear the burden of the innumerable details.
THIRD EPOCH. Caroline, absorbed in the idea that you should eat merely
to live, treats Adolphe to the delights of a cenobitic table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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