Phases of an Inferior PlanetGlasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
General
Phases of an Inferior Planet
Glasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
Fiction
His voice was distinct and forcible, with a widely varied range of
expression.
There was a second tap at the door, and Mr. Nevins entered, looking
depressed and ill-humored.
"Hello, Anthony!" he called. "What! is Mr. Paul squandering your
midnight oil? You should have sent him to bed long ago."
"It is not my hour for retiring," responded Mr. Paul.
Anthony interrupted pacifically.
"Mr. Paul is exhorting me," he said, "and I have no doubt that, with
slight modifications, his sermon may be adapted to your case. He
predicts brain-softening and general senility."
"An inspired prophecy," returned Mr. Nevins, crossly, "and savoring of
Jeremiah. As for myself, it is but common justice that a man who has
conscientiously refused the cultivation of the mind should not be called
upon to lose what he doesn't possess." Then he grew suddenly cheerful.
"Confound it! What's the use of being a philosopher on paper when you
can be one in practice. What's the use of dying when you can eat,
drink, and be merry?"
"Eating," remarked Mr. Paul, with depressing effect, "produces
dyspepsia, drinking produces gout."
"And thought, paresis," added Anthony, lightly. "They are all merely
different forms of dissipation. I have chosen mine; Nevins has chosen
his. Only, as a matter of taste, I'd rather die by work than wine.
Personally, I prefer consumption to apoplexy."
"There is such a thing as the means justifying the end," responded Mr.
Nevins, in reckless ill-humor. "And it is a great principle. If I wasn't
a fool, I'd make a bonfire of my brush and palette, and start afresh on
a level with my appetite. I would become the apostle of good-living,
which means fast living. I tell you, an hour of downright devilment is
worth all the art since Adam. Aristippus is greater than Raphael."
"What has gone wrong?" demanded Algarcife, soothingly. "Too much purple
in the 'Andromeda'? I always said that purple was the imperial color of
his satanic majesty. If you had followed the orthodox art of your
college days, and hadn't gone wandering after strange gods, you might
have escaped a dash of that purple melancholia."
"You're a proper fellow," returned Mr. Nevins, with disgust. "Who was it
that won that last debate in '82 by a glowing defence of Christianity
against agnosticism, and, when the Reverend Miles lit out about the new
orator in his flock, floored him with: 'Was that good? Then what a
magnificent thing I could have made of the other side!'"
Mr. Paul had opened his book, and glanced up with candid lack of
interest. Anthony laughed languidly.
"I saw Miles some weeks ago," he said, "and he is still talking about my
'defection,' as he calls it. I couldn't convince him that I was merely
the counsel for a weak case, and that I was always an agnostic at
heart."
Mr. Nevins lighted a cigar in silence. Then he nodded abruptly towards
the wall. "What's that noise?" he demanded, irritably.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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