Phases of an Inferior PlanetGlasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
General
Phases of an Inferior Planet
Glasgow, Ellen Anderson Gholson
Fiction
He drew nearer. Across his face she saw a sudden flash--so vivid that it
seemed the awakening of a dormant element in his nature. "You are
wonderfully vital," he said. "There is as much life in you as there is
in a dozen of us poor effete mortals. What is your secret?"
The girl leaned her arm upon the railing and rested her chin in her
hand. She looked up at him and her eyes grew darker. "It is the pure
animal love of existence," she answered. "I love the world. I love
living and breathing, and feeling the blood quicken in my veins. I love
dancing and singing and eating and sleeping. The simple sensuousness of
life is delicious to me. If I could not be a queen, I had rather be a
beggar upon the road-side than to be nothing. If I could not be a human
being, I had rather be a butterfly in the sunshine than not to be at
all. So long as I had the blue sky and the air and the world about me I
could not be miserable. It is life--life in its physical
fulfilment--that I love. So long as they leave me the open world I can
be happy. Only, if I were taken and shut up in an ugly dungeon I should
want to die. And even then there would be hope."
She had spoken passionately, the words coming quickly from between her
parted lips. She seemed so light and etherealized as to be almost
bodiless. The materialistic philosophy to which she gave utterance was
spiritualized by her own illusiveness.
For an instant she hesitated, looking across the tenement roofs to the
horizon beyond. Then she went on: "I am different from you--oh, so
different! Where you think, I feel. You are all mind, I am all senses. I
am only fulfilling my place in nature when I am hearing or seeing or
feeling beautiful things. My sense of beauty is my soul."
Anthony watched her with steadfast intentness. He had never before seen
her in this mood, and it was a new surprise to him. His former
generalizations were displaced.
But if he had known it, the present aspect was a result of his own
influence upon Mariana. In a moment of contrition for small deceptions,
she had been precipitated into an extravagant self-abasement.
"You are disappointed," she added, presently, meeting his gaze. "You
expected something different, but I am shallow, and I can't help it." It
was like her that in the tendency to self-depreciation she was as
sincere as she had been in the former tendency to self-esteem.
And perhaps Anthony was the juster judge of the two. He was certainly
the more dispassionate.
"I have told you," concluded Mariana, with an eager catch at the
redeeming grace, "because I want to be truthful."
"My dear girl," responded Anthony, a warm friendliness in his voice,
"you might have spared yourself this little piece of analysis. It is as
useless as most morbid rot of the kind. It doesn't in the least affect
what I think of you, and what I do think of you is of little
consequence."
"But what do you think?" demanded Mariana.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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