_Superior ’Arry._ “CABBIE! TO THE--AW--THE PRINCE OF WALES’S.” _Cabbie._ “MARLBRO’ ’OUSE, MY LORD?”] [Illustration: =PICKINGS FROM PICARDY.= AFTER THE PROCESSION. A SOLO BY GRAND-PÈRE.] [Illustration: =BOTANY; OR, A DAY IN THE COUNTRY.= “SAY, BILLEE, SHALL WE GAVER MUSHROOMS?” “YUS. I’M A BEGGAR TO CLIMB!”] [Illustration: =A MODEL.= _Little Guttersnipe (who is getting quite used to posing)._ “WILL YER WANT ME TER TIKE MY BUN DOWN?”] [Illustration: =A LECTURE IN STORE.= “_ARE_ YOU COMIN’ ’OME?” “I’LL DO ELLYTHIK YOU _LIKE_ IN REASOL, M’RIA--(_hic_)--BUR I _WON’T_ COME ’OME.”] [Illustration: =A SKETCH FROM LIFE.= _Chorus (slow music)._ “WE’RE A RARE OLD--FAIR OLD--RICKETY, RACKETY CREW!”] [Illustration: =A GOURMAND.= _Youngster (who has just had a Penny given to him)._ “’OW MUCH IS THEM GRAPES, MISTER?” _Shopkeeper (amused)._ “THEY ARE FOUR SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE A POUND, MY LAD.” _Youngster._ “WELL, THEN, GIVE US A ’A’PORTH O’ _CARROTS_. I’M A _DEMON_ FOR _FRUIT_!”] [Illustration: =SO _THAT_ DOESN’T COUNT.= “ARE YOU SURE THEY’RE QUITE FRESH?” “WOT A QUESTION TO ARST! CAN’T YER SEE THEY’RE ALIVE?” “YES; BUT _YOU_’RE _ALIVE_, YOU KNOW!”] [Illustration: =A SPECIAL PLEADER.= _First Boy._ “GIVE US A BITE OF YOUR APPLE, BOB.” _Second Boy._ “SHAN’T.” _First Boy._ “WHAT FOR?” _Second Boy._ “COS YER AXED ME!” (_After a pause._) _Small Boy._ “GI’ ME A BITE, BOB. I NEVER AXED YER!”] [Illustration: =A NATURAL QUERY.= “WHAT BAIT ARE YER USIN’, BILLIE?” “CHEESE.” “WHAT ARE YER TRYIN’ TER CATCH--MICE?”] [Illustration: =INAPPROPRIATE.= _Street Serio (singing)._ “ER--YEW WILL THINK HOV ME AND LOVE ME HAS IN DIES HOV LONG AGO-O-O!”] [Illustration: =A SKETCH NEAR PICCADILLY.=] [Illustration: =A THREAT MISPLACED.= “OI TELL YEZ OI WILL _NOT_ CLANE OUT ME CELL. OI’D LAVE THE JAIL FURRST!”] [Illustration: =OBVIOUS.= “GENTLEMEN, I AM READY TO ADMIT THAT HIS CAREER IN THE PAST HAS NOT BEEN FREE FROM BLEMISH----”] [Illustration: =AN AWKWARD ADMISSION.= _Enthusiastic Briton (to seedy American, who has been running down all our National Monuments)._ “BUT EVEN IF OUR HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT ‘AREN’T IN IT,’ AS YOU SAY, WITH THE MASONIC TEMPLE OF CHICAGO, SURELY, SIR, YOU WILL ADMIT THE THAMES EMBANKMENT, FOR INSTANCE----” _Seedy American._ “WAAL, _GUESS_ I DON’T THINK SO DURNED MUCH OF YOUR THAMES EMBANKMENT, NEITHER. IT _RAINED_ ALL THE BLARMED TIME THE NIGHT I _SLEP_ ON IT.”] [Illustration: =A HOMELY TEST.= _Ethel (reading from book of familiar sayings)._ “‘A MAN AT FORTY IS EITHER A FOOL OR A PHYSICIAN.’ THAT’S RATHER FUNNY, KATE. DADDY IS MORE THAN FORTY, AND HE’S CERTAINLY NOT A PHYSICIAN!”] [Illustration: =AT A LITERARY AND ARTISTIC BANQUET.= _Waiter (to Colleague)._ “WELL, THEY MAY ’AVE THE INTELLEC’, FRED, BUT WE CERTAINLY ’AS THE GOOD LOOKS!”] [Illustration: =NOTES OF TRAVEL.= _Foreign Husband (whose Wife is going to remain longer)._ “GIF ME TWO DICKETS. VON FOR ME TO COME BACK, AND VON FOR MY VIFE NOT TO COME BACK!”]