Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the LordAbbott, Edwin Abbott
Religion
Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the Lord
Abbott, Edwin Abbott
Christian fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
On the last day of the month Adar, as I remember, we left the young man
Tobias behind us: and about three or four days afterwards, to wit on the
third or fourth day of the month Nisan (which is the month of the
Passover), we came down to the valley of Jordan over against Jericho. Now
therefore there wanted but ten days to the fourteenth day of the month,
which is the great day of the Passover. As the time drew nigh for our
entering into Jerusalem, Judas began to complain very bitterly that Jesus
neither strengthened nor encouraged his followers like a wise leader, but
kept back some from following, and others, which followed, he made to be
of a faint heart. Especially he reproached Jesus for that he did not set
forth the Kingdom in clear words; “For,” said he, “two or three words
would suffice, if Jesus would but tell us plainly the when and the where
thereof; but now he speaketh darkly, saying at one time, that it is at
hand; at another time, that it is among us; anon, that it is still
distant; then, that we must strive to enter into it. Wherefore, to what is
this Kingdom of God like? Even to a mist, which taketh many different
shapes, because it hath no substance.”
Now Jesus seemed to me to perceive what was in the mind of Judas, and to
be grieved thereat; but he took no note thereof in our presence, although
Judas had been these many days turning his heart from our Master and
inclining himself to leave him. For indeed he had by this time begun to
repent that he had ever joined himself to Jesus. Notwithstanding even now,
at certain seasons, while Jesus was speaking, Judas was drawn towards him
as in old times; but, as it were, perforce, and in spite of himself. Hence
it came to pass that he was sorely distracted in his mind, being tossed
now this way, now that, like unto a troubled sea. For sometimes, upon no
apparent cause, he would break out into protestations of love for Jesus;
but at other times, when he thought no one was at hand (yea, and even in
our hearing when the passion was on him) he would rage and fume that he
had ever left Kerioth for to join such a leader as this, declaring that
Jesus would ruin all them that followed him, and saying that he could
well‐nigh hate him as a blind leader of the blind.
Oftentimes hath it been marvelled how it should come to pass that Jesus
should have chosen Judas to be one of his apostles; for he knew what was
in men. Why therefore did our Master choose for an apostle one that should
afterwards betray him? But the answer which Quartus giveth is this, that,
at the first, perchance Jesus did not know that Judas would betray him;
yea, and had not Judas hardened himself against Jesus, he might have
become a chosen vessel of the Lord.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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