Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the LordAbbott, Edwin Abbott
Religion
Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the Lord
Abbott, Edwin Abbott
Christian fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
Again the people laughed loudly, and shouted applause; but the Stoic,
touched with choler, left reasoning with his adversary and began to revile
him, calling him atheist and sacrilegious wretch, and other names; which
only made the people laugh the more. But I came forth from the theatre
sick at heart and saddened, not more by the arguments of the Epicurean
than by the faithlessness of the multitude. Then said I, “How know I that
there is a life after death? or who hath returned from the grave to bring
back word thereof? For it is written, ‘Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do,
do it with thy might.’ But wherefore? ‘Even because,’ saith the Scripture,
‘there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave
whither thou goest.’” Then again I lamented that I had wasted my years in
labour, and much study had been to me a weariness in the flesh, and I
said, “It would have been wiser to have preferred mirth, for it is
written, ‘A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat and drink,
and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of
his life, which God giveth him under the sun.’”
From henceforth my days and nights were busied with such questions as
these, which crept into my soul against my will, and would not be driven
out: After death shall I live no more, and will no one even once think of
me, since infinite time burieth all things in forgetfulness? Will it be
even as though I had never been born? When was the world created, and what
was in the beginning before the world? If the world was from all eternity,
then it will always be; but if it had a beginning, then must it likewise
have an end. And, after the end of the world, what will be then? What
perhaps but the silence of death?
Being constantly given up to such thoughts, I resorted yet more diligently
to the schools of the philosophers, hoping to obtain some deliverance from
my doubts: but I saw nothing but the contentions of orators, and the
foyning and thrusting of rhetoricians, fighting not for the truth, but
each desiring to prove himself more skilful than his adversaries. So it
came to pass that I inclined, now to one, now to another. As, for example,
at one time they that taught the immortality of the soul seemed to
prevail; then again they that would have the soul to be mortal. When the
former doctrine had the upper hand, I rejoiced: when the latter, I was
downcast. Thus was I driven to and fro by differing opinions, and was
forced to conclude that things appear not as they are in themselves, but
as they happen to be presented on this side, or on that. My brain was in a
greater whirl than ever, and I sighed from the bottom of my heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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