If scientific dialogues are less popular in our times than they were in ancient days, it must be attributed to the frigid and insipid manner in which they have too frequently been executed; if we except the mere external forms of conversation, and that one character is made to speak, and the other to answer, they are altogether the same as if the author himself spoke throughout the whole, instead of amusing with a varied style of conversation, and with a display of consistent and well-supported characters. The introduction of a person of humour, to enliven the discourse, is sanctioned by the highest authority. Cæsar is thus introduced by Cicero, and Cynthio by Addison. In the introduction of Mr. Twaddleton and Major Snapwell, I am well aware of the criticisms to which I am exposed; I have exercised my fancy with a freedom and latitude, for which, probably, there is not any precedent in a scientific work. I have even ventured so far to deviate from the beaten track as to skirmish upon the frontiers of the Novelist, and to bring off captive some of the artillery of Romance; but if, by so doing, I have enhanced the interest of my work, and furthered the accomplishment of its object, let me intreat that mere novelty may not be urged to its disparagement. The antiquarian Vicar, however, will, I trust, meet with cordial reception from the classical student. As to Ned Hopkins, although he may not bear a comparison with William Summers, the fool of Henry VIII.--or with Richard Tarlton, who “_undumpished_ Queen Elizabeth at his pleasure;” or with Archibald Armstrong (vulgo _Archee_) Jester to Charles,--yet I will maintain, in spite of the Vicar’s censure, that he is a right merry fellow, and to the Major, and consequently to our history, a most important accessary. If it be argued that several of my comic representations are calculated, like seasoning, to stimulate the palate of the novel-reader, rather than to nourish the minds of the younger class, for whom the work was written, I might, were I so disposed, plead common usage; for does not the director of a juvenile fête courteously introduce a few piquant dishes, for the entertainment of those elder personages who may attend in the character of a chaperone? You surely could not deny me the full benefit of such a precedent; and so, Gentle Reader, I bid thee--Farewell! ----- Footnote 1: “Have you such leisure from your own affairs To think of those that don’t concern you?” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CONTENTS. * * * * * CHAPTER I.   Page 1