"It scared me silly, but my first thought was; _Migod, I nearly flew
out the window_--just as matter-of-fact about it as if I'd been
sleepwalking and woke up and said, _Oh, I almost walked down those
stairs_. And then I guess I woke up the rest of the way and really
realized what was happening, and the next thing I knew, I was lying
cross-ways on the bed, with all the breath knocked out of me."
His body had tensed again with the growing excitement in his voice;
sensing it, he shivered and moved closer into the warmth of her arms.
"Fran, don't let me do anything _now_!"
Slowly, under the reassurance of her touch, he felt the spasm dissolve,
flow into words again.
"When I woke up, I thought it had all been a dream--I mean, I wanted to
believe I'd dreamed it, but I knew better. I wandered out here into the
living room, and just kind of went through the motions of breakfast,
without noticing what I was doing. After a while I--well, located
myself sitting at the table, staring at my coffee and realizing it had
gone cold. I wasn't thinking, Fran, I wasn't thinking about anything.
I was just staring at that coffee and wishing it was good and hot
again, and--and then it started _steaming_.
"Fran, I didn't touch it, I just looked at it. I looked at it, and
suddenly I wasn't just looking at a cup-of-coffee any more. I began
to see it--really _see_ it. I began to see the relationships of every
component in the cup and the coffee, the chemical and molecular--no,
that's not what I mean, either--I could see, not really with my eyes,
the entire series of relationships between all the overlapping fields
of energy--no--" he broke off again, helplessly.
"I can't make sense of it for you. I don't have the words, maybe there
aren't any--I could _see_ it, you understand; I didn't try to explain
it, even to myself. I can't, now. It's just--everything's _motion_, and
I could reach out and--and speed it up, or slow it down, and I'd heated
it up--" he shook his head a little and was silent, clinging to her.
* * * * *
Her voice was levelled when she spoke, a flat surface spread thin over
panic; toneless. "I'm not a--a nuclear physicist, but it sounds as
if you were trying to put the theory of atoms and force-fields into
one word. Like--matter not being solid but just little bits of loose
energy whirling around and building up into atoms and the atoms into
molecules."
"That--I guess so. As if I'd learned to--oh, to see into them. But how?
_Why?_"
"It takes in a lot of territory," she said, still the flat stretched
toneless voice. "Just to wake up and find out you had it, whatever it
was."
He hardly heard. He drew himself upright, his hands clasped, tensing,
searching for words. "Like--like ice and water and steam are all the
same thing, only we see them differently. We just see different aspects
of the same thing, and it's all the same, all this--_motion_. And I
could control it! I could control _everything_!"
"Max--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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