He shivers. He draws me passionately, almost fiercely to him, as
though defying my miserable words to come true.
"What put such a detestable idea into your head?" he asks
hoarsely, with pale lips. "Are you trying to frighten me? Shall I
tell you how _that_ would end? You would be my murderess as
surely as though you drove a knife into my heart. What an evil
thought! But I defy it," he says, forcing a smile. "Once you are
mine, once you belong to me altogether, I will hold you against
yourself--against the world. Oh Phyllis, my child, my _love_---"
He pauses, and, putting his hand under my chin, turns up my face
until my head leans against his arm and my eyes look straight
into his. His face is dangerously close to mine; it comes closer,
closer, until suddenly, without a word of warning, his lips meet
mine in a long, eager, passionate kiss.
It is the first time a lover's kiss has been laid upon my lips. I
do not struggle or seek to free myself. I only burst into a storm
of tears. I am frightened, troubled, and lie trembling and
sobbing in his arms, hardly knowing what I feel, hardly conscious
of anything but a sense of shame and fear. I know, too, that
Marmaduke's heart is beating wildly against my cheek.
"Phyllis, what is it? what have I done?" he asks, very anxiously.
"My darling, was I too abrupt? Did I frighten you? Forgive me,
sweet; I forgot what a mere timid child you are."
I sob on bitterly.
"It shall not happen again; I promise you that, Phyllis, I will
never kiss you again until you give me permission. Now surely you
will forgive me. My darling, why should it grieve you so
terribly?"
"I don't know," I whisper, "only I do not want to be married, or
have a lover, or _anything_."
Marmaduke lays his cheek very gently against mine, and for a long
time there is silence between us. After awhile my sobs cease, and
he once more breaks the silence by saying:---
"You will marry me, Phyllis?" and I answer, "Yes," very quietly,
somehow feeling as if that kiss had sealed my fate, and put it
out of my power to answer "No."
"Then look at me," says Marmaduke, tenderly. "Will you not let me
see my dear wife's face?"
I raise a face flushed and tear-stained and glance at him shyly
for a moment. Evidently its dimmed appearance makes no difference
to him, as there is unmistakable rapture and triumph in his gaze
as he regards it. I hide it again with a sigh, though now the
Rubicon being actually passed, I feel a sense of rest I had not
known before.
"Who is to tell them at home?" I ask presently.
"I will. Shall I go back with you now and tell them at once?"
"No, no," I cry, hastily, shrinking from the contemplation of the
scene that will inevitably follow his announcement. "It is too
late now. To-morrow--about four o'clock--you can come and get it
over. And, Mr. Carrington, will, will you please be _sure_ to
tell them I knew nothing of it--never suspected, I mean, that you
_cared_ for me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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