Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- France -- Fiction
DURING Passion Week they saw one another every day. Pierre went to see
Luce in her isolated house. The thin and hungry garden was waking up.
They passed the afternoon there. They felt now an antipathy toward Paris
and the crowd, against life also. At certain moments even, a moral
paralysis kept them silent, immovable, one close to the other, without a
wish to stir. A strange feeling was at work in both of them. They were
afraid! Fear--in the measure that the day approached when they should
give themselves the one to the other--fear through excess of love,
through the purification of soul which the ugly things, the cruelties,
the shameful facts of life frightened, and which, in an intoxication of
passion and melancholy, dreamed of being delivered from it all.... They
said nothing about it to each other.
The most of their time they passed in babbling gently about their
future lodgings, their work in common, their little household. They
arranged in advance, down to the smallest item of their installation,
the furniture, the wall papers, the spot for each object. A true woman,
the evocation of these tender nothings, intimate and familiar images of
daily life, moved Luce sometimes to tears. They tasted the exquisite
small joys of the hearth of the future.... They knew that nothing of
that sort would occur--Pierre through the presentiment of his native
pessimism--Luce through the clairvoyance of love which understood the
practical impossibility of the marriage.... That is why they hasted to
enjoy it in their dream. And each concealed from the other the certainty
felt that it would not be anything else but a dream. Each one believed
that this secret was personal and watched, deeply touched, over the
other's illusion.
When they had exhausted the mournful delights of the impossible future
they were overcome with fatigue, as if they had lived through all of it.
Then they rested themselves, seated under the arbor with the dried-up
vines, while the sun melted the congealed sap; and, Pierre's head on
Luce's shoulder, they listened dreamily to the humming of the earth.
Behind the passing clouds the young sun of March played bo-peep, laughed
and disappeared. Clear sunrays, somber shadows ran across the plain as
in a soul run joys and sorrows.
"Luce," said Pierre abruptly, "don't you recollect?... It was long, long
ago.... Even then we were like this...."
"Yes," said Luce, "that's true. All of it, I remember all.... But where
were we?..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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