Autobiographical fiction; Domestic fiction; Male authors -- Fiction; Men -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
Nor was this general and spontaneous self-concealment of all the most
momentous interests of his love, as irretrievably involved with Isabel
and his resolution respecting her; nor was this unbidden thing in him
unseconded by the prompting of his own conscious judgment, when in the
tyranny of the master-event itself, that judgment was permitted some
infrequent play. He could not but be aware, that all meditation on Lucy
now was worse than useless. How could he now map out his and her young
life-chart, when all was yet misty-white with creamy breakers! Still
more: divinely dedicated as he felt himself to be; with divine commands
upon him to befriend and champion Isabel, through all conceivable
contingencies of Time and Chance; how could he insure himself against
the insidious inroads of self-interest, and hold intact all his
unselfish magnanimities, if once he should permit the distracting
thought of Lucy to dispute with Isabel's the pervading possession of his
soul?
And if--though but unconsciously as yet--he was almost superhumanly
prepared to make a sacrifice of all objects dearest to him, and cut
himself away from his last hopes of common happiness, should they cross
his grand enthusiast resolution;--if this was so with him; then, how
light as gossamer, and thinner and more impalpable than airiest threads
of gauze, did he hold all common conventional regardings;--his
hereditary duty to his mother, his pledged worldly faith and honor to
the hand and seal of his affiancement?
Not that at present all these things did thus present themselves to
Pierre; but these things were foetally forming in him. Impregnations
from high enthusiasms he had received; and the now incipient offspring
which so stirred, with such painful, vague vibrations in his soul; this,
in its mature development, when it should at last come forth in living
deeds, would scorn all personal relationship with Pierre, and hold his
heart's dearest interests for naught.
Thus, in the Enthusiast to Duty, the heaven-begotten Christ is born; and
will not own a mortal parent, and spurns and rends all mortal bonds.
VI.
One night, one day, and a small part of the one ensuing evening had been
given to Pierre to prepare for the momentous interview with Isabel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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