Autobiographical fiction; Domestic fiction; Male authors -- Fiction; Men -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
Now, thank God, thought Pierre, the night is past,--the night of Chaos
and of Doom; the day only, and the skirt of evening now remain. May
heaven new-string my soul, and confirm me in the Christ-like feeling I
first felt. May I, in all my least shapeful thoughts still square myself
by the inflexible rule of holy right. Let no unmanly, mean temptation
cross my path this day; let no base stone lie in it. This day I will
forsake the censuses of men, and seek the suffrages of the god-like
population of the trees, which now seem to me a nobler race than man.
Their high foliage shall drop heavenliness upon me; my feet in contact
with their mighty roots, immortal vigor shall so steal into me. Guide
me, gird me, guard me, this day, ye sovereign powers! Bind me in bonds I
can not break; remove all sinister allurings from me; eternally this day
deface in me the detested and distorted images of all the convenient
lies and duty-subterfuges of the diving and ducking moralities of this
earth. Fill me with consuming fire for them; to my life's muzzle, cram
me with your own intent. Let no world-syren come to sing to me this day,
and wheedle from me my undauntedness. I cast my eternal die this day, ye
powers. On my strong faith in ye Invisibles, I stake three whole
felicities, and three whole lives this day. If ye forsake me
now,--farewell to Faith, farewell to Truth, farewell to God; exiled for
aye from God and man, I shall declare myself an equal power with both;
free to make war on Night and Day, and all thoughts and things of mind
and matter, which the upper and the nether firmaments do clasp!
VII.
But Pierre, though, charged with the fire of all divineness, his
containing thing was made of clay. Ah, muskets the gods have made to
carry infinite combustions, and yet made them of clay!
Save me from being bound to Truth, liege lord, as I am now. How shall I
steal yet further into Pierre, and show how this heavenly fire was
helped to be contained in him, by mere contingent things, and things
that he knew not. But I shall follow the endless, winding way,--the
flowing river in the cave of man; careless whither I be led, reckless
where I land.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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