“If that is the case, you must not see me again, for you must never
again speak those words to me,” she said decisively. “Because of the
service you have rendered me, I forgive you your past offenses; but do
not repeat them.”
“What if I can’t help it?” I inquired.
“You must help it,” she stated seriously; “it is a matter of life and
death to you.”
Her words puzzled me. “I do not understand what you mean,” I admitted.
“Kamlot, Honan, any of the Vepajans aboard this ship would kill you if
they knew,” she replied. “The jong, my father, would have you destroyed
upon our return to Vepaja—it would all depend upon whom I told first.”
I came a little closer to her and looked straight into her eyes. “You
would never tell,” I whispered.
“Why not? What makes you think that?” she demanded, but her voice
quavered a little.
“Because you want me to love you,” I challenged her.
She stamped her foot angrily. “You are beyond reason or forbearance or
decency!” she exclaimed. “Leave my cabin at once; I do not wish ever to
see you again.”
Her bosom was heaving, her beautiful eyes were flashing, she was very
close to me, and an impulse seized me to take her in my arms. I wanted
to crush her body to mine, I wanted to cover her lips with kisses; but
more than all else I wanted her love, and so I restrained myself, for
fear that I might go too far and lose the chance to win the love that I
felt was hovering just below the threshold of her consciousness. I do
not know why I was so sure of that, but I was. I could not have brought
myself to force my attentions upon a woman to whom they were repugnant,
but from the first moment that I had seen this girl watching me from the
garden in Vepaja, I had been impressed by an inner consciousness of her
interest in me, her more than simple interest. It was just one of those
things that are the children of old Chand Kabi’s training, a training
that has made me infinitely more intuitive than a woman.
“I am sorry that you are sending me away into virtual exile,” I said. “I
do not feel that I deserve that, but of course the standards of your
world are not the standards of mine. There, a woman is not dishonored by
the love of a man, or by its avowal, unless she is already married to
another,” and then of a sudden a thought occurred to me that should have
occurred before. “Do you already belong to some man?” I demanded,
chilled by the thought.
“Of course not!” she snapped. “I am not yet nineteen.” I wondered that
it had never before occurred to me that the girl in the garden of the
jong might be already married.
I did not know what that had to do with it, but I was glad to learn that
she was not seven hundred years old. I had often wondered about her age,
though after all it could have made no difference, since on Venus, if
anywhere in the universe, people are really no older than they look—I
mean, as far as their attractiveness is concerned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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