At this Agathon leaned forward and said: ‘You must beware, O Lysis and Phaelon, of the Socratic irony, which has been the subject of a great deal of comment, and of which you are the victims at this moment. For it is well known that the Volstead Act is not dear to the Americans at all and that Alcibiades did nothing uncommon or scandalous in violating it.’ ‘Perhaps,’ said Phaelon, ‘we should first understand clearly what this Volstead Act is.’ ‘Why,’ I said, ‘it is the law by which the Americans imposed upon themselves a most heavy sacrifice, and denied themselves in a loud voice that great pleasure of human life, wine.’ ‘Truly a heavy sacrifice,’ exclaimed both Lysis and Phaelon, and Lysis added the obvious question whether any reason could be found for such amazing conduct, for the folly natural to barbarians seemed wholly inadequate to account for it. ‘It is indeed,’ I answered, ‘a hard knot that we have to untangle, and one that will puzzle future generations. Many and various are the explanations put forward. Thus some philosophers point out that the sacrifice is being made in a time of great prosperity, and believe that it is intended to avert the jealousy of the gods. And there is much truth in that. For the Americans found themselves grown extremely rich, and, believing nothing to be so desirable as material prosperity, they feared lest the whole company of Olympus, both gods and goddesses, should resolve to become American citizens, and should achieve their ends by cunning or magic, despite the immigration Authorities. The Americans did not at all desire their company, partly through fear of the intensified and unscrupulous competition which it is the wont of the gods to indulge in, but chiefly because they consider that the gods, with the uncertain exception of Zeus himself, are not of Anglo-Saxon stock. To abate the edge of envy, they resolved to involve themselves in calamity and, by inserting privation into their Constitution, to create such a drawback to their country that not the divinities only but ordinary mortals also, should have no desire to share their life. You have heard how the maidens of Leucris, to protect their honour, slit off their noses and went undesired of the invading hordes. So also the Americans deemed it prudent to show to the world a mutilated life. They also believed that their own gods would be touched by the sight of such suffering and would augment the number of their other possessions, and they were strengthened in this view when they sent to consult their national oracle at Detroit. For the oracle said:―― In driest land, ’Neath steadiest hand, The iron steed Will fastest breed.