Frequently he assured himself that he did not now regard the Bible as
divinely inspired, yet he was constantly deciding this or that question
by its decrees. So quite naturally he followed this tremendous inquiry
of Christ's by those two passionate invocations of David, "Cast me not
away from Thy Presence. Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me." To be cast
out of God's Presence. To be sent into the Outer Darkness, full of the
Evil Ones! "O Jessy!" he cried, "such a doom would turn a living man
into clay!"
It was of this awful possibility he was thinking as he walked to the
Church of the Disciples. Two or three of the deacons were standing in
the vestibule, and they looked at him and then at each other with a
pleased expression.
"We rejoice to see you, sir, looking so well," said one. "The church is
full, sir, and, if our clock is correct, there is but five minutes to
service time."
He had five minutes yet, in the which he could draw back or postpone his
intention--or--or--then his dream came to his remembrance, and he put
all hesitation out of the question. With a thoughtful gravity he walked
down the aisle, ascended the pulpit stairs, and stood in his place
before the people. And they watched him with a sigh of content and
pleasure. They had often seen in his eyes that far-away gaze of one who
looks past the visible and sees time and eternity as the old prophets
saw them.
They expected from this sign a sermon which would take them for an hour
"to the Land which is very far off."
He stood silently facing his congregation, for even at this last minute
there came to his soul a doubtful whisper, "The position is yet yours.
You can delay any explanation a week--or even two. You had better do
so." He trembled under the strain of this instant decision. But the
whole congregation were rustling their hymn books and the precentor was
taking his desk. Then in a dear, vibrant voice he said:
"We shall sing no hymn this morning. We shall make no prayer. I am here
to bid you farewell. You will see my face no more."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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