There was an indescribable movement throughout the building, but nothing
articulate, and he quietly continued: "I have ceased to believe in the
divinity and the inspiration of the Bible. It is not any longer to me
the Word of God. It has nothing to say to me, either of Time or
Eternity. Its pages are blank. I might have gone away from you without
any explanation. I was tempted to do so, but we have been twenty years
together, and I desired to give you my last words." There was no
response from the cold, voiceless crowd, but he felt their antagonism to
be more palpable than that of either scornful looks or reproachful
words. With eloquent anger he described the cynical complaisance with
which the very existence of God and the inspiration of the Bible were
now challenged and discussed. "There is boundless danger in all such
discussions," he cried. "As long as we are loving and simple-minded we
judge the Bible by the heart and not by the intellect. And of such are
the Kingdom of Heaven." Then, as he spoke, the _Word_ became _Flesh_ and
prevailed like a message from another world. Many were the hard words he
gave them, and, if he had never before spoken the whole truth, he did so
at this last hour--not of any settled purpose--but because it was the
last hour, and he wanted them to see through his sight "the dead, small
and great, standing before God for the judgment to come."
At this point the church was no longer either cold or voiceless, it felt
rather as if it were on fire. The people trembled and prayed and wept as
he spoke, and Ian Macrae was a man they had never before seen. His tall,
grave figure radiated a kind of awe, his voice rang out like a command.
The keen spiritual life within lit up his pale, striking face, and in
his eyes there was a strange glory--they shone like windows in a setting
sun.
The intensity of feeling had been so great that there was in about
fifteen minutes an inevitable pause. Then he looked round, and
continued:
"Listen to me a few moments, while I illustrate what I have said by my
own experience. A few months ago the Bible lay in every fold of my
consciousness. Now it has nothing to say to me, and it is impossible to
describe the loneliness and grief that fills my empty heart. For the God
of my Bible has left me. All my life I had trusted to whatever God said
in His Word. God had said it, and I knew that God would keep His Word.
Then I was tempted by the devil--no, by the gift of one thousand pounds,
to examine my Father's Word--to prove, and to test, and to try it, by
the suppositions and ideas of some small German, French, English--and
Scotch, so-called philosophers. And I was too small for the intellectual
dragon I went out to slay. All of them wounded me in some way, and my
God left me. I deserved it. I have lost my place among the sons of God.
With my own hand I crossed out my name from the list of those who serve
His altar. In the honored halls of St. Andrews they will think it kind
to forget Ian Macrae.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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