"Because I am thirty-two," she said to herself, "because I am
thirty-two, I was treated like an old lady. The insolence of youth is
intolerable!" Then she heard steps upon the flagged walk and, turning,
saw the stately, rather somber figure of the man whose conquest she was
meditating approaching her. She met him with charming smiles, and little
fluttering attentions and, in words soft and hesitating, tried to hide,
and yet to express her great joy in his presence. "It is so long--so
long--since I saw you! I have felt desolate and, oh, so lonely!"
"Lonely! You have had so much pleasant company."
"But _you_ never came--not even when I wrote and asked you--did you know
how cruel you were? My company was young and thoughtless--no one cared
for me--I longed to see your face you never came--I have been very
lonely--but _now_! Oh, you cannot tell what a pleasure it is to have
someone to talk to who does not regard tennis and golf as the chief end
and duty of man," and she smiled and laid her jeweled white hand
confidingly on his.
[Illustration: "She smiled and laid her jeweled white hand confidingly
on his"]
He was much astonished, but also greatly touched, by her frankness and
evident joy in his presence; and, as any other man would have done, he
accepted her gracious kindness without doubt or consideration. Her
pretty face, full of sympathetic revelations, and her flattering words
went like wine to his head and heart, his eyes dilated with pleasure,
and he clasped the hand she had laid upon his own. Its soft warmth, its
slight pressure, the tender smile on her lips, the love light in her
eyes, were to his starving soul irresistible temptations. But he never
thought of these things as temptations; if he had done so, there was in
him a Will gigantic enough to have put them behind him. As a man dying
of thirst would have seized a glass of cold water, so his soul,
famishing for love, took hastily, greedily, the astonishing blessing
offered him. Scarcely could he believe in his happiness; yet fast, oh,
so fast, he forgot everything before this hour! And when he left Cramer
it was with his heart like a spring brimming over with love.
Under the sweet strength of the stars he walked home. He felt that he
could not meet Mrs. Caird until he had communed with himself in the
silence and solitude of the night. His whole life, without his
expectation or conscious desire, had been changed. Something wonderful
had taken place. He thought he had loved before, but this startling,
unforeseen, and unmistakable passion filled him with rapture and a kind
of sacred fear. He had in no way sought it. By some Power far above him
it had been sent. Yet his beating heart, his strange joy, his firm step,
active brain, and glad outlook on life taught him that all the long
years of his ascetic rejection of love must have been a mistake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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