LEONÍD. If you want, I'll invite him in. Potápych, call NEGLIGÉNTOV! He said that you were at his uncle's to-day, and that you promised to give him Nádya. Already he's reckoning, in anticipation, how much income he will get in the court, or "savings," as he says. What a funny fellow! He showed me how they taught him at school. Do you want me to bring him in? _Enter_ POTÁPYCH _and_ NEGLIGÉNTOV. SCENE IV _The same,_ NEGLIGÉNTOV _and_ POTÁPYCH MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Oh, oh, how disgusting! Don't come near me! NEGLIGÉNTOV. I'm sent from uncle to thank you for your bounty. LEONÍD. He says, mamma, that they taught him a good deal, only it was impossible for him to learn anything. NEGLIGÉNTOV. Impossible; from my birth I had no aptitude for the sciences. I received from fifty to a hundred birch rods nearly every day, but they didn't quicken my understanding. LEONÍD. Oh, mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here, just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin? NEGLIGÉNTOV. Turpissime! MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Shrugging her shoulders_] What in the world is that? NEGLIGÉNTOV. Most abominably. LEONÍD. No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you? NEGLIGÉNTOV. [_Bursts out laughing_] It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt, and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock. MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How is it they took you into the civil service if you never learned anything? NEGLIGÉNTOV. Through the mediation of influential people. LEONÍD. And did they expel you from school? NEGLIGÉNTOV. They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too much. LEONÍD. Grew too much? NEGLIGÉNTOV. Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were promoted to the higher classes. LEONÍD. What was your conduct like? NEGLIGÉNTOV. Reprehensible. MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go away! LEONÍD. Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance, NEGLIGÉNTOV! NEGLIGÉNTOV. [_Dances and sings_] "I shall go, shall go to mow Upon the meadow green." GRÍSHA _bursts out laughing._ MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Stop, stop! [NEGLIGÉNTOV _ceases_. _To_ GRÍSHA] What are you laughing at? GRÍSHA. The member dances very comically. MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What do you mean, "member"? GRÍSHA. Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member. NEGLIGÉNTOV. I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and insult.