Now just let me tell you what the trouble has been and how you can remedy it. _The People_ has been afraid of being serious. But you deal with ideas, and you must do it soberly. There is a place for a good earnest journal of protest, but all this levity--this fooling-- [_Enter THE LIGHT TOUCH._ LIGHT TOUCH Came in to see you, Ed, to say I hope the news I’m hearing isn’t true. ED If it’s bad, it’s true. LIGHT TOUCH Well, it’s an awful pity, but you’ve been too damn serious. A lighter touch--that’s what _The People_ needs. You’re as heavy as mud. Try it awhile longer along frivolous lines. I was in the building and just ran in to let you have my idea of what’s the matter with you. OSCAR If we had as many subscribers as we have people to tell us what’s the matter with us-- [_Enter PHILOSOPHER and FIREBRAND, TOM follows them in, a page of manuscript in his hand._ ED Now the Philosopher and the Firebrand will tell us what’s the matter with us. FIREBRAND Too damn bourgeois! You should print on the cover of every issue--“To hell with the bourgeoisie!” Pigs! PHILOSOPHER The trouble with this paper is efficiency. [_This is too much for all of them. The PRINTER falls back against the wall, then staggers from the room._ ED Dear God! There are things it seems to me I can _not_ bear. PHILOSOPHER It should be more carelessly done, and then it would be more perfectly done. You should be less definite, and you would have more definiteness. You should not know what it is you want, and then you would find what you are after. OSCAR You talk as if we had not been a success. But just last night I heard of a woman in Bronxville who keeps _The People_ under her bed so her husband won’t know she’s reading it. FIREBRAND If you had been a success you would have fired that woman with so great a courage that she would proudly prop _The People_ on the pillow! ARTIST [_Who is sketching THE FIREBRAND._] It was my pictures got us under the bed. OSCAR [_Haughtily._] I was definitely told it was my last “Talk with God” put us under the bed. FIREBRAND Can you not see that she puts you under the bed because you yourselves have made concessions to the bourgeoisie? Cows! Geese! ARTIST It must be more frivolous! OSCAR It must print more poetry. [_They glare at one another._ EARNEST APPROACH It should be more serious. LIGHT TOUCH It must be more frivolous! [_Enter THE BOY from Georgia--dressed like a freshman with a good allowance._ THE BOY Is this the office of _The People_? OSCAR No, this is a lunatic asylum. THE BOY [_After a bewildered moment._] Oh, you’re joking. You know [_Confidentially_], I wondered about that--whether you would joke here. I thought you would. [_Stepping forward._] I came to see the Editor--I want to tell him-- ED So many people are telling me so many things, could you tell yours a little later? THE BOY Oh, yes. Of course there must be many important things people have to tell you. ED