CHUBUKOV. Who’s dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV’S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn’t drink.... It means he’s dead, and all that.... I’m the most unhappy of men! Why don’t I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven’t I cut my throat yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That’s right.... LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! She’s willing! [He puts LOMOV’S hand into his daughter’s] She’s willing and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? CHUBUKOV. She’s willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s alive... Yes, yes, I’m willing.... CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what’s it all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I’m happy. Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot’s gone to sleep.... NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I’m happy too.... CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse than Squeezer. LOMOV. Better! NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! CHUBUKOV. Well, that’s a way to start your family bliss! Have some champagne! LOMOV. He’s better! NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! Curtain. THE WEDDING CHARACTERS EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife DASHENKA, their daughter EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka’s bridegroom FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer Fleet) GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov’s Restaurant [A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] [ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can’t go on like this! Where are you off to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s’il vous plait_! [They all go off.] [Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me with your speeches.