PRESS. Might I say a quarter of a million-lifted in two seconds and a half-hundred thousand to the second. It brings it home, you know. LORD W. No, no; dash it! No! PRESS. [Disappointed] I see--not draw attention to your property in the present excited state of public feeling? Well, suppose we approach it from the viewpoint of the Anti-Sweating dinner. I have the list of guests--very weighty! LORD W. Taken some lifting-wouldn't they? PRESS. [Seriously] May I say that you designed the dinner to soften the tension, at this crisis? You saw that case, I suppose, this morning, of the woman dying of starvation in Bethnal Green? LORD W. [Desperately] Yes-yes! I've been horribly affected. I always knew this slump would come after the war, sooner or later. PRESS. [Writing] ". . . had predicted slump." LORD W. You see, I've been an Anti-Sweating man for years, and I thought if only we could come together now . . . . PRESS. [Nodding] I see--I see! Get Society interested in the Sweated, through the dinner. I have the menu here. [He produces it.] LORD W. Good God, man--more than that! I want to show the people that we stand side by side with them, as we did in the trenches. The whole thing's too jolly awful. I lie awake over it. [He walks up and down.] PRESS. [Scribbling] One moment, please. I'll just get that down-- "Too jolly awful--lies awake over it. Was wearing a white waistcoat with pearl buttons." [At a sign of resentment from his victim.] I want the human touch, Lord William--it's everything in my paper. What do you say about this attempt to bomb you? LORD W. Well, in a way I think it's d---d natural PRESS. [Scribbling] "Lord William thought it d---d natural." LORD W. [Overhearing] No, no; don't put that down. What I mean is, I should like to get hold of those fellows that are singing the Marseillaise about the streets--fellows that have been in the war-- real sports they are, you know--thorough good chaps at bottom--and say to them: "Have a feeling heart, boys; put yourself in my position." I don't believe a bit they'd want to bomb me then. [He walks up and down.] PRESS. [Scribbling and muttering] "The idea, of brotherhood--" D'you mind my saying that? Word brotherhood--always effective--always---- [He writes.] LORD E. [Bewildered] "Brotherhood!" Well, it's pure accident that I'm here and they're there. All the same, I can't pretend to be starving. Can't go out into Hyde Park and stand on a tub, can I? But if I could only show them what I feel--they're such good chaps-- poor devils. PRESS. I quite appreciate! [He writes] "Camel and needle's eye." You were at Eton and Oxford? Your constituency I know. Clubs? But I can get all that. Is it your view that Christianity is on the up-grade, Lord William? LORD W. [Dubious] What d'you mean by Christianity--loving--kindness and that? Of course I think that dogma's got the knock. [He walks.]