Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of HonourMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
English drama
Didn't you have a dreadful fear that I shouldn't be as nice as you
imagined? Now, come--honestly.
MERESTON.
Well, yes, I suppose it crossed my mind.
LADY FREDERICK.
And am I?
MERESTON.
Of course.
LADY FREDERICK.
You're sure you're not disappointed?
MERESTON.
Quite sure.
LADY FREDERICK.
What a relief! You know, I've been tormenting myself dreadfully. I said
to myself: "He'll go on thinking of me till he imagines I'm the most
beautiful woman in the world, and then, when he comes here and sees the
plain reality, it'll be an awful blow."
MERESTON.
What nonsense! How could you think anything of the kind?
LADY FREDERICK.
Are you aware that you haven't shown the least desire to kiss me yet?
MERESTON.
I thought--I thought you might not like it.
LADY FREDERICK.
It'll be too late in a minute.
MERESTON.
Why?
LADY FREDERICK.
Because I'm just going to make up, you silly boy.
MERESTON.
How? I don't understand.
LADY FREDERICK.
You said I must be very sure of my complexion. Of course I am. Here it
is.
[_She runs her fingers over a row of little pots
and vases._
MERESTON.
Oh, I see. I beg your pardon.
LADY FREDERICK.
You don't mean to say you thought it natural?
MERESTON.
It never occurred to me it might be anything else.
LADY FREDERICK.
It's really too disheartening. I spend an hour every day of my life
making the best complexion in Monte Carlo, and you think it's natural.
Why, I might as well be a dairymaid of eighteen.
MERESTON.
I'm very sorry.
LADY FREDERICK.
I forgive you.... You may kiss my hand. [_He does so._] You dear boy.
[_Looking at herself in the glass._] Oh, Betsy, you're not looking your
best to-day. [_Shaking her finger at the glass._] This won't do, Betsy,
my dear. You're very nearly looking your age. [_Turning round quickly._]
D'you think I look forty?
MERESTON.
I never asked myself how old you were.
LADY FREDERICK.
Well, I'm not, you know. And I shan't be as long as there's a pot of
rouge and a powder puff in the world. [_She rubs grease paint all over
her face._]
MERESTON.
What _are_ you doing?
LADY FREDERICK.
I wish I were an actress. They have such an advantage. They only have to
make up to look well behind the footlights; but I have to expose myself
to that beastly sun.
MERESTON.
[_Nervously._] Yes, of course.
LADY FREDERICK.
Is your mother dreadfully annoyed with you? And Paradine must be
furious. I shall call him Uncle Paradine next time I see him. It'll make
him feel so middle-aged. Charlie, you don't know how grateful I am for
what you did yesterday. You acted like a real brick.
MERESTON.
It's awfully good of you to say so.
LADY FREDERICK.
[_Turning._] Do I look a fright?
MERESTON.
Oh, no, not at all.
LADY FREDERICK.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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