SLADDER: Well, Splurge, we can only wait. (_With emphasis._) If these mice eat it---- SPLURGE: Yes, sir? SLADDER: The public will eat it. SPLURGE: Ah! SLADDER: Any other business to-day? SPLURGE: O, only the cook, sir. He's complaining about the vegetables, sir. He says he's never been anywhere before where they didn't buy them. We get them out of the kitchen garden here, and it seems he doesn't understand it. Says he won't serve a greengrocer, sir. SLADDER: A kitchen garden is the wrong thing, is it? SPLURGE: He says so, sir. SLADDER: But there was one here when we came. SPLURGE: O, only country people, sir. I suppose they didn't know any better. SLADDER: Well, where do people grow vegetables, then? SPLURGE: I asked the cook that, sir, and he said they don't grow them, they buy them. SLADDER: O, all right, then. Let him buy them, then. We must do the right thing. [_The hall-door bell rings._ SLADDER: Hullo! Who's ringing my bell? SPLURGE: That was the hall-door, wasn't it, sir? SLADDER: Yes. What are they ringing it for? [_Enter_ BUTLER. BUTLER: Mr. Hippanthigh has called to see you, sir. SLADDER: Called to see me! What about? BUTLER: He didn't inform me, sir. SLADDER: I say, Splurge, have I got to see him? SPLURGE: I think so, sir. I think they call on one another like that in the country. SLADDER: Good lord, whatever for? (_To_ BUTLER.) O, yes. I'll see him, I'll see him. BUTLER: Very good, sir, I'll inform him so, sir. [_Exit._ SLADDER: I say, Splurge, I suppose I've got to have a butler, and all that, eh? SPLURGE: O, yes, sir. One at least. It's quite necessary. SLADDER: You--you couldn't have bought me a cheerfuller one now, could you? SPLURGE: I'm afraid not, sir. If you were to take all this too lightheartedly, the other landowners would hardly like it, you know. SLADDER: O, well! O, well! What kind of man is this Hippanthigh that's coming? SPLURGE: He's the man that quarrels with the bishop, sir. SLADDER: O, the curate. O, yes. I've heard about him. He's been here before, I think. Lawn tennis. [_Enter_ BUTLER. BUTLER: Mr. Hippanthigh, sir. [_Enter_ HIPPANTHIGH. _Exit_ BUTLER. SLADDER: How do you do, Mr. Hippanthigh? How do you do? Pleased to see you. HIPPANTHIGH: I wished to speak with you, Mr. Sladder, if you will permit me. SLADDER: Certainly, Mr. Hippanthigh, certainly. Take a chair. HIPPANTHIGH: Thank you, sir. I think I would sooner stand. SLADDER: Please yourself. Please yourself. HIPPANTHIGH: I wished to speak with you alone, sir. SLADDER: Alone, eh? Alone? (_Aside to_ SPLURGE.) It's usual, eh? (_To_ HIPPANTHIGH.) Alone, of course, yes. You've come to call, haven't you. (_Exit_ SPLURGE.) Can I offer you--er, er--calling's not much in my line, you know--but what I mean is--will you have a bottle of champagne?