NEEKS: That's rather what I feel, Sir Webley. SIR WEBLEY: It wouldn't be a bad plan if we told somebody about him. NEEKS: I think I know just the man, Sir Webley. I'll just drop him a line. SIR WEBLEY: Yes, and if he's all right there's no harm done, but I always suspect that kind of fellow. Well, what else, Trundleben? This is getting interesting. TRUNDLEBEN: Well, Sir Webley, it's really very funny, but he sent me a list of the characters in this play of his, "Hamelt," and, and it's really rather delicious---- NEEKS: Yes? SIR WEBLEY: Yes? What is it? TRUNDLEBEN: He's got a _ghost_ in his play. (_He-he-he-he-he_) A ghost! He really has. SIR WEBLEY: What! Not on the stage? TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, on the stage! NEEKS: Well, well, well. SIR WEBLEY: But that's absurd. TRUNDLEBEN: I met Mr. Vass the other day--it was his four hundredth presentation of "The Nighty"--and I told him about it. He said that bringing a ghost on the stage was, of course--er--ludicrous. SIR WEBLEY: What else does he say he's done? TRUNDLEBEN: Er--er--there's an absurdly long list--er--"Macbeth." SIR WEBLEY: "Macbeth." That's Irish. NEEKS: Ah, yes. Abbey Theatre style of thing. TRUNDLEBEN: I think I heard he offered it them. But of course---- SIR WEBLEY: No, quite so. TRUNDLEBEN: I gathered it was all rather a--rather a sordid story. SIR WEBLEY (_solemnly_): Ah! [NEEKS[5] _with equal solemnity wags his head._ TRUNDLEBEN (_focussing his list again_): Here's a very funny one. This is funnier than "Hamlet." "The Tempest." And the stage directions are "The sea, with a ship." SIR WEBLEY (_laughs_): Oh, that's lovely! That's really too good. The sea with a ship! And what's it all about? TRUNDLEBEN: Well, I rather gathered that it was about a magician, and he--he makes a storm. SIR WEBLEY: He makes a storm. Splendid! On the stage, I suppose. TRUNDLEBEN: Oh yes, on the stage. [SIR WEBLEY _and_ NEEKS[6] _laugh heartily._ NEEKS: He'd ... He'd have to be a magician for that, wouldn't he? SIR WEBLEY: Ha, ha! Very good! He'd have to be a magician to do that, Trundleben. TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, indeed, Sir Webley; indeed he would, Mr. Neeks. SIR WEBLEY: But that stage direction is priceless. I'd really like to copy that down if you'd let me. What is it? "The sea with a ship"? It's the funniest bit of the lot. TRUNDLEBEN: Yes, that's it, Sir Webley. Wait a moment, I have it here. The--the whole thing is "the sea with a ship, afterwards an island." Very funny indeed. SIR WEBLEY: "Afterwards an island"! That's very good, too. "Afterwards an island." I'll put that down also. (_He writes._) And what else, Trundleben? What else? [TRUNDLEBEN _holds out his list again._ TRUNDLEBEN: "The Tragedy of--of King Richard the--the Second." SIR WEBLEY: But _was_ his life a tragedy? _Was_ it a tragedy, Neeks? NEEKS: I--I--well I'm not quite sure; I really don't think so. But I'll look it up. SIR WEBLEY: Yes, we can look it up.