Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the firstVanbrugh, John
General
Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the first
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century; English drama -- Restoration, 1660-1700
_Heart._ No, forsooth; but I seldom find 'em better than they appear to
be.
_Bel._ Then the Outside's best, you think?
_Heart._ 'Tis the honestest.
_Const._ Have a care, _Heartfree_; you are relapsing again.
_Lady Brute._ Why, does the Gentleman use to rail at Women?
_Const._ He has done formerly.
_Bel._ I suppose he had very good Cause for't. They did not use you so
well as you thought you deserv'd, Sir.
_Lady Brute._ They made themselves merry at your Expence, Sir.
_Bel._ Laugh'd when you sigh'd--
_Lady Brute._ Slept while you were waking--
_Bel._ Had your Porter beat--
_Lady Brute._ And threw your Billet-doux in the Fire.
_Heart._ Hey-day, I shall do more than rail presently.
_Bel._ Why, you won't beat us, will you?
_Heart._ I don't know but I may.
_Const._ What the Devil's coming here? Sir _John_ in a Gown----And
drunk, i'faith.
_Enter Sir ~John~._
_Sir John._ What a Pox----here's _Constant_, _Heartfree_--and two
Whores, I'gad----O you covetous Rogues! what, have you never a spare
Punk for your Friend?----But I'll share with you.
[_He seizes both the Women._
_Heart._ Why, what the plague have you been doing, Knight?
_Sir John._ Why, I have been beating the Watch, and scandalizing the
Clergy.
_Heart._ A very good Account, truly.
_Sir John._ And what do you think I'll do next?
_Const._. Nay, that no Man can guess.
_Sir John._ Why, if you'll let me sup with you, I'll treat both your
Strumpets.
_Lady Brute._ [_Aside._] O Lord, we're undone!
_Heart._ No, we can't sup together, because we have some Affairs
elsewhere. But if you'll accept of these two Ladies, we'll be so
complaisant to you, to resign our Right in 'em.
_Bel._ [_Aside._] Lord, what shall we do?
_Sir John._ Let me see; their Clothes are such damn'd Clothes, they
won't pawn for the Reckoning.
_Heart._ _Sir John_, your Servant. Rapture attend you!
_Const._ Adieu, Ladies, make much of the Gentleman.
_Lady Brute._ Why, sure, you won't leave us in the Hands of a drunken
Fellow to abuse us.
_Sir John._ Who do you call a drunken Fellow, you Slut you? I'm a Man
of Quality; the King has made me a Knight.
[_~Heart.~ runs off._
_Heart._ Ay, ay, you are in good Hands! Adieu, Adieu!
_Lady Brute._ The Devil's Hands: Let me go, or I'll--For Heaven's sake,
protect us!
[_She breaks from him, runs to ~Constant~, twitching off
her Mask, and clapping it on again._
_Sir John._ I'll Devil you, you Jade you. I'll demolish your ugly Face.
_Const._ Hold a little, Knight, she swoons.
_Sir John._ I'll swoon her.
_Const._ Hey, _Heartfree_.
_Re-enter ~Heartfree~. ~Belinda~ runs to him, and shews her
Face._
_Heart._ O Heavens! My dear Creature, stand there a little.
_Const._ Pull him off, _Jack_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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