Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the firstVanbrugh, John
General
Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the first
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century; English drama -- Restoration, 1660-1700
_Heart._ Hold, mighty Man; look ye, Sir, we did but jest with you.
These are Ladies of our Acquaintance that we had a mind to frighten a
little, but now you must leave us.
_Sir John._ Oons, I won't leave you, not I.
_Heart._ Nay, but you must, though; and therefore make no Words on't.
_Sir John._ Then you are a couple of damned uncivil Fellows. And I hope
your Punks will give you Sauce to your Mutton.
[_Exit Sir ~John~._
_Lady Brute._ Oh, I shall never come to myself again, I'm so frightened.
_Const._ 'Twas a narrow 'Scape, indeed.
_Bel._ Women must have Frolicks, you see, whatever they cost them.
_Heart._ This might have proved a dear one, though.
_Lady Brute._ You are the more obliged to us for the Risk we run upon
your Accounts.
_Const._ And I hope you'll acknowledge something due to our
Knight-Errantry, Ladies. This is the second time we have delivered you.
_Lady Brute._ 'Tis true; and since we see Fate has designed you for our
Guardians, 'twill make us the more willing to trust ourselves in your
Hands. But you must not have the worse Opinion of us for our innocent
Frolick.
_Heart._ Ladies, you may command our Opinions in every thing that is to
your Advantage.
_Bel._ Then, Sir, I command you to be of Opinion, That Women are
sometimes better than they appear to be.
[_Lady ~Brute~ and ~Constant~ talk apart._
_Heart._ Madam, you have made a Convert of me in every thing. I'm grown
a Fool: I cou'd be fond of a Woman.
_Bel._ I thank you, Sir, in the Name of the whole Sex.
_Heart._ Which Sex nothing but yourself cou'd ever have aton'd for.
_Bel._ Now has my Vanity a devilish Itch, to know in what my Merit
consists.
_Heart._ In your Humility, Madam, that keeps you ignorant it consists
at all.
_Bel._ One other Compliment, with that serious Face, and I hate you for
ever after.
_Heart._ Some Women love to be abus'd: Is that it you wou'd be at?
_Bel._ No, not that, neither: But I'd have Men talk plainly what's fit
for Women to hear; without putting 'em either to a real or an affected
Blush.
_Heart._ Why, then, in as plain Terms as I can find to express myself,
I could love you even to--Matrimony itself a'most, I'gad.
_Bel._ Just as Sir _John_ did her Ladyship there.----What think you?
Don't you believe one Month's time might bring you down to the same
Indifference, only clad in a little better Manners, perhaps? Well, you
Men are unaccountable things, mad till you have your Mistresses, and
then stark mad till you are rid of 'em again. Tell me honestly, Is not
your Patience put to a much severer Trial after Possession than before?
_Heart._ With a great many I must confess it is, to our eternal
Scandal; but I----dear Creature, do but try me.
_Bel._ That's the surest way, indeed, to know, but not the safest. [_To
Lady ~Brute~._] Madam, are not you for taking a Turn in the Great Walk?
It's almost dark, no body will know us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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