_Esop._ Have you ever heard what the Men now employ'd in Business have to say for themselves? _Gent._ No, Sir. _Esop._ How then do you know they deserve to be punish'd for the present Disorders in your Affairs? _Gent._ I'll tell you how I know. _Esop._ I would be glad to hear. _Gent._ Why, I know by this----I know it, I say, by this----that I'm sure on't----And to give you Demonstration that I'm sure on't, there is not one Man in a good Post in the Nation--but I'd give my Vote to hang him: Now I hope you are convinc'd. _Esop._ As for Example: The first Minister of State, why wou'd you hang him? _Gent._ Because he gives bad Counsel. _Esop._ How do you know? _Gent._ Why, they say so. _Esop._ And who would you put in his Room? _Gent._ One that would give better. _Esop._ Who's that? _Gent._ Myself. _Esop._ The Secretary of State, why wou'd you hang him? _Gent._ Because he has not good Intelligence. _Esop._ How do you know? _Gent._ I have heard so. _Esop._ And who would you put in his Place? _Gent._ My Father. _Esop._ The Treasurer, why would you hang him? _Gent._ Because he does not understand his Business. _Esop._ How do you know? _Gent._ I dreamt so. _Esop._ And who would you have succeed him? _Gent._ My Uncle. _Esop._ The Admiral, why would you hang him? _Gent._ Because he has not destroy'd the Enemies Ships. _Esop._ How do you know he could do it? _Gent._ Why, I believe so. _Esop._ And who would you have command in his Stead? _Gent._ My Brother. _Esop._ And the General, why would you hang him? _Gent._ Because he took ne'er a Town last Campaign. _Esop._ And how you do know it was in his Power? _Gent._ Why, I don't care a Souss whether 'twas in his power or not. But I have a Son at home, a brave chopping Lad; he has been Captain in the Militia these twelve Months, and I'd be glad to see him in his Place. What do ye stare for, Sir? Ha! I'gad I tell you he'd scour all to the Devil. He's none of your Fencers, none of your sa-sa Men. _Numps_ is downright, that's his Play. You may see his Courage in his Face: He has a Pair of Cheeks like two Bladders, a Nose as flat as your Hand, and a Forehead like a Bull. _Esop._ In short, Sir, I find if you and your Family were provided for, Things would soon grow better than they do. _Gent._ And so they wou'd, Sir. Clap me at the Head of the State, and _Numps_ at the Head of the Army: He with his Club-Musquet, and I with my Club Head-Piece, we'd soon put an End to your Business. _Esop._ I believe you wou'd indeed. And therefore, since I happen to be acquainted with your extraordinary Abilities, I am resolv'd to give the King an Account of you, and employ my Interest with him, that you and your Son may have the Posts you desire. _Gent._ Will you, by the Lord?--Give me your Fist, Sir--the only honest Courtier that ever I met with in my Life.