Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the firstVanbrugh, John
General
Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the first
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century; English drama -- Restoration, 1660-1700
_Esop._ But, Sir, when I have done you this mighty Piece of Service, I
shall have a small Request to beg of you, which I hope you won't refuse
me.
_Gent._ What's that?
_Esop._ Why, 'tis in behalf of the two Officers who are to be displac'd
to make Room for you and your Son.
_Gent._ The Secretary and the General?
_Esop._ The same. 'Tis pity they shou'd be quite out of Business: I
must therefore desire you'll let me recommend one of 'em to you for
your Bailiff, and t'other for your Huntsman.
_Gent._ My Bailiff and my Huntsman!----Sir, that's not to be granted.
_Esop._ Pray, why?
_Gent._ Why?----Because one wou'd ruin my Land, and t'other wou'd spoil
my Fox-Hounds.
_Esop._ Why do you think so?
_Gent._ Why do I think so!----These Courtiers will ask the strangest
Questions!----Why, Sir, do you think that Men bred up to the State or
the Army, can understand the Business of Ploughing and Hunting?
_Esop._ I did not know but they might.
_Gent._ How cou'd you think so?
_Esop._ Because I see Men bred up to Ploughing and Hunting, understand
the Business of the State and the Army.
_Gent._ I'm shot----I ha'n't one Word to say for myself----I never was
so caught in my Life.
_Esop._ I perceive, Sir, by your Looks, what I have said has made some
Impression upon you; and would, perhaps do more, if you wou'd give it
leave. [_Taking his Hand._] Come, Sir, tho' I am a Stranger to you, I
can be your Friend; my Favour at Court does not hinder me from being
a Lover of my Country. 'Tis my Nature, as well as Principle, to be
pleas'd with the Prosperity of Mankind. I wish all Things happy, and my
Study is to make them so.
The Distempers of the Government (which I own are great) have employ'd
the Stretch of my Understanding, and the deepest of my Thoughts,
to penetrate the Cause, and to find out the Remedy. But alas! All
the Product of my Study is this, That I find there is too near a
Resemblance between the Diseases of the State and those of the Body,
for the most expert Minister to become a greater Master in one than the
College is in t'other: And how far their Skill extends, you may see by
this Lump upon my Back. Allowances in all Professions there must be,
since 'tis weak Man that is the weak Professor. Believe me, Senator,
for I have seen the Proof on't. The longest Beard amongst us is a Fool.
Cou'd you but stand behind the Curtain, and there observe the secret
Springs of State, you'd see, in all the Good or Evil that attends it,
ten Ounces of Chance for one Grain either of Wisdom or Roguery.
You'd see, perhaps, a venerable Statesman sit fast asleep in a great
downy Chair; whilst, in that soft Vacation of his Thought, blind Chance
(or what at least we blindly call so) shall so dispose a thousand
secret Wheels, that when he awakes, he needs but write his Name, to
publish to the World some blest Event, for which his Statue shall be
rais'd in Brass.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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