Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the secondVanbrugh, John
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Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the second
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century
_Enter Captain ~Toupee~._
Captain _Toupee_, your servant: What, nobody with you? do you come
quite alone?
_Capt._ 'Slife, I thought to find company enough here. My Lord, your
servant. What a deuce, you look as if you had been up all night. I'm
sure I was in bed but three hours; I wou'd you'd give me some coffee.
Lady _Ara._ Some coffee there; tea too, and chocolate.
_Capt._ [_Singing a minuet and dancing._] Well, what a strange fellow
am I to be thus brisk, after losing all my money last night----but upon
my soul you look sadly.
Lady _Ara._ No matter for that, if you'll let me win a little of your
money this morning.
_Capt._ What with that face? Go, go wash it, go wash it, and put on
some handsome things; you look'd a good likely woman last night; I
would not much have cared if you had run five hundred pounds in my
debt; but if I play with you this morning, I'gad I'd advise you to win;
for I won't take your personal security at present for a guinea.
Lord _Love._ To what a nauseous freedom do women of quality of late
admit these trifling fops! and there's a morning exercise will give 'em
claim to greater freedoms still. [_Points to the hazard-table._] Some
course must be taken.
[_Exit._
_Capt._ What, is my Lord gone? he look'd methought as if he did not
delight much in my company. Well, peace and plenty attend him for your
Ladyship's sake, and those----who have now and then the honour to win a
hundred pounds of you.
[_Goes to the table singing, and throws._
Lady _Ara._ [_Twitching the box from him._] What, do you intend to win
all the money upon the table----Seven's the main--Set me a million,
_Toupee_.
_Capt._ I set you two, my queen--Six to seven.
_Lady Ara._ Six----the world's my own.
_Both._ Ha, ha, ha!
Lady _Ara._ O that my Lord had spirit enough about him to let me play
for a thousand pound a-night----But here comes country company----
_Enter Lady ~Headpiece~, Miss ~Betty~, Mrs. ~Motherly~, and
Colonel ~Courtly~._
Your servant, Madam, good-morrow to you.
Lady _Head._ And to you, Madam. We are come to breakfast with you.
Lord, are you got to those pretty things already?
[_Points to the dice._
Lady _Ara._ You see we are not such idle folks in town as you country
ladies take us to be; we are no sooner out of our beds, but we are at
our work.
Miss _Betty._ Will dear Lady Arabella give us leave, mother, to do a
stitch or two with her?
[_Takes the box and throws._
_Capt._ The pretty lively thing!
Lady _Ara._ With all her heart; what says her mama?
Lady _Head._ She says she don't love to sit with her hands before her,
when other people's are employed.
_Capt._ And this is the prettiest little sociable work, men and women
can all do together at it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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