_Flip._ Business, I suppose. _Gripe._ Business! she has a pretty head for business truly: O ho, let her change her way of living, or I'll make her change a light heart for a heavy one. _Flip._ And why would you have her change her way of living, Sir? You see it agrees with her. She never look'd better in her life. _Gripe._ Don't tell me of her looks, I have done with her looks long since. But I'll make her change her life, or---- _Flip._ Indeed. Sir, you won't. _Gripe._ Why, what shall hinder me, insolence? _Flip._ That which hinders most husbands; contradiction. _Gripe._ Suppose I resolve I won't be contradicted? _Flip._ Suppose she resolves you shall? _Gripe._ A wife's resolution is not good by law. _Flip._ Nor a husband's by custom. _Gripe._ I tell thee I will not bear it. _Flip._ I tell you, Sir, you will bear it. _Gripe._ Oons, I have borne it three years already. _Flip._ By that you see 'tis but giving your mind to it. _Gripe._ My mind to it! Death and the devil! My mind to it! _Flip._ Look ye, Sir, you may swear and damn, and call the furies to assist you! but 'till you apply the remedy to the right place, you'll never cure the disease. You fancy you have got an extravagant wife, is't not so? _Gripe._ Pr'ythee change me that word fancy, and it is so. _Flip._ Why there's it. Men are strangely troubled with the vapours of late. You'll wonder now if I tell you, you have the most reasonable wife in town: And that all the disorders you think you see in her, are only here, here, here, in your own head. [_Thumping his forehead._ _Gripe._ She is then, in thy opinion, a reasonable woman? _Flip._ By my faith, I think so. _Gripe._ I shall run mad--Name me an extravagance in the world she is not guilty of. _Flip._ Name me an extravagance in the world she is guilty of. _Gripe._ Come then: Does not she put the whole house in disorder? _Flip._ Not that I know of, for she never comes into it but to sleep. _Gripe._ 'Tis very well: Does she employ any one moment of her life in the government of her family? _Flip._ She is so submissive a wife, she leaves it entirely to you. _Gripe._ Admirable! Does she not spend more money in coach-hire, and chair-hire, than would maintain six children? _Flip._ She's too nice of your credit to be seen daggling in the streets. _Gripe._ Good! Do I set eye on her sometimes in a week together? _Flip._ That, Sir, is because you are never stirring at the same time; you keep odd hours; you are always going to bed when she's rising, and rising just when she's coming to bed. _Gripe._ Yes, truly, night into day, and day into night, bawdy-house play, that's her trade; but these are trifles: Has she not lost her diamond necklace? Answer me to that, Trapes. _Flip._ Yes; and has sent as many tears after it, as if it had been her husband.