_Griff._ I wish I cou'd; for it goes to my heart to see you thus treated by a crew of vermin, who think they do you a great deal of honour in ruining of you. Mr. _Barn._ Can there be no way found to redress this? _Griff._ If I were you, I'd leave this house quite, and go to town. Mr. _Barn._ What, and leave my wife behind me? ay that wou'd be mending the matter indeed! _Griff._ Why don't you sell it then? Mr. _Barn._ Because nobody will buy it; it has got as bad a name as if the plague were in't; it has been sold over and over, and every family that has liv'd in it has been ruin'd. _Griff._ Then send away all your beds and furniture; except what is absolutely necessary for your own family, you'll save something by that, for then your guests can't stay with you all night, however. Mr. _Barn._ I've try'd that already, and it signified nothing----For they all got drunk and lay in the barn, and next morning laugh'd it off for a frolick. _Griff._ Then there is but one remedy left that I can think of. Mr. _Barn._ What's that? _Griff._ You must e'en do what's done when a town's on fire, blow up your house that the mischief may run no farther----But who is this gentleman? Mr. _Barn._ I never saw him in my life before, but for all that, I'll hold fifty pound he comes to dine with me. _Enter the Marquis._ _Marq._ My dear Mr. _Barnard_, I'm your most humble servant. Mr. _Barn._ I don't doubt it, Sir. _Marq._ What is the meaning of this, Mr. _Barnard_? You look as coldly upon me as if I were a stranger. Mr. _Barn._ Why truly, Sir, I'm very apt to do so by persons I never saw in my life before. _Marq._ You must know, Mr. _Barnard_, I'm come on purpose to drink a bottle with you. Mr. _Barn._ That may be, Sir; but it happens that at this time I am not at all dry. _Marq._ I left the ladies at cards waiting for supper; for my part, I never play; so I came to see my dear Mr. _Barnard_; and I'll assure you I undertook this journey only to have the honour of your acquaintance. Mr. _Barn._ You might have spared yourself that trouble, Sir. _Marq._ Don't you know, Mr. _Barnard_, that this house of yours is a little paradise? Mr. _Barn._ Then rot me if it be, Sir. _Marq._ For my part, I think a pretty retreat in the country is one of the greatest comforts of life; I suppose you never want good company, Mr. _Barnard_? Mr. _Barn._ No, Sir, I never want company; for you must know I love very much to be alone. _Marq._ Good wine you must keep above all things, without good wine and good cheer I would not give a fig for the country. Mr. _Barn._ Really, Sir, my wine is the worst you ever drank in your life, and you'll find my cheer but very indifferent. _Marq._ No matter, no matter, Mr. _Barnard_; I've heard much of your hospitality, there's a plentiful table in your looks----and your wife is certainly one of the best women in the world. Mr. _Barn._ Rot me if she be, Sir. _Enter ~Colin~._