“Yes, I have known Bert Ayres for many years and copied press from him many a night,” said O. A. Gurley, as Mr. Ayres was introduced. Merry sallies passed between the two gentlemen, when the gavel sounded with a loud rap and the master of ceremonies introduced Col. Mark D. Crain, the speaker. Loud and enthusiastic greetings followed this introduction and the Colonel smilingly acknowledged the welcome. _Colonel Crain Delivers Address._ “I am to speak today upon the future of the telegraph,” he began, but he was interrupted by Ed. Parmalee, who asked him to change his topic to the “past” history of the telegraph. “Cannot do it just now, as I am all primed with my topic, and some other time will do; besides, you know, we are now in Eternity and we have all the time there is.” The Colonel then took up his manuscript, which he began to read: “The telegraph has made astounding progress during the past five years,” he began, “but there are much better things in store for the employes than ever before. “For instance, a device has been invented which practically annihilates time when it comes to taking messages off the wires. “A typewriter with the standard keyboard is used, but the combinations are numerous. To an expert, ten words are written with one touch of the key and a fifty-word night letter will be written by simply touching five different keys on the typewriter. It all depends upon knowing how, and you know,” remarked the Colonel merrily, “we get paid for what we know, and not for what we do. “You can now see that it will take but ten seconds to receive a fifty-word night letter, but the toll to the public is just the same. The companies, however, are willing to divide the earnings with the operators and a new schedule of salaries has been made as follows: “Operators will receive ten mills for each message handled, but they are required to handle at least 500 messages every hour, their work being confined to five hours a day. “You see their wages will therefore be $5 per hour, or $25 per day for five hours’ work. The company will not permit an operator to work more than twenty days a month, so the maximum salary for each operator will be $500. “The company will furnish three meals a day--” “Did I understand you to say ‘free meals a day?’” broke in Jake Tubman, who sat near the speaker. “I should have said three free meals a day,” laughingly replied the speaker, and, continuing, “and automobiles will call for and return each employe home. “The chief will meet each operator at the door when he quits for the day and ask him the state of his health, how he enjoyed his work, and if he has any grievance to relate. The manager, too, will greet operators all at the landing of the elevator and ask them if they care to ‘draw’ today.” “Oh, my, that strikes me about right,” cried out Fred Loomis, and many others showed their appreciation of the innovation.