Men can be classified; women cannot even be pacified. A woman’s idea of happiness is to be ideally miserable. A woman will break a heart as readily as she will crack a smile. No married man ever was a fool without being told of the fact. The grass widow is not alone in making hay while the sun shines. A bachelor is a man who has given serious thought to matrimony. Bachelors form their opinion of marriage by experience—of others. There is nothing new under the sun except hat styles for women. [Illustration: “_A woman imagines she can cover up her imperfections by pointing out those of other women._”] Every girl would love to be a thing of beauty and a boy forever. When a woman proves equal to all a man expects she is a sur-prize. It isn’t nearly so hard to be a fool over a widow as not to be one. Every woman secretly admires the wisdom of the man who flatters her. A woman may conceal her faults, but a decollete gown is less deceptive. The blush of a bashful girl is a flush that takes any hand—and heart. “The cup of happiness” with men of experience has a siphon on the side. Every woman has a horror of old age, but not so much as of young death. Women are never satisfied. First they want a voter and then they want a vote. Some men are born to trouble, while others merely achieve it by marriage. There is but one kind of love, yet every woman has a different idea about it. Men, manners and morals change, but woman, never—from the changeable. [Illustration: _A man may be “out front” at the opera and yet be able only to “see back”—if he is with her._] Every woman expects a man to think for her, and then she reverses his opinion. When it comes to singing the praises of another, most women have a sore throat. Man’s principal safeguard against matrimony is that widows are made, not born. Many a promising housekeeping career has been ruined in an unpromising stage career. Men have found many antidotes for a woman, but the surest of all is another woman. A woman spends one-half of her time telling lies for men and the other half to them. Women often know a man is in love with them when the man never discovers the fact. Men often find it necessary to choose between the inconstant and the unattractive woman. A woman keeps a man running all the time—first it is after her and then it is from her. If women did not know that men could overcome their resistance they would seldom resist. There are two ways in which a woman may win a man: Her own brilliancy and his inanity. When a man is at the feet of woman it is pretty sure that another woman threw him there. Every woman wants a man to be real devilish before marriage and real angelic afterwards. Anyhow, there was one woman who was never jealous. Adam didn’t have troubles about that. A woman imagines she can cover up her imperfections by pointing out those of other women. Some men are born wise, some achieve wisdom by experience, and some just don’t marry.