_Ph._ I’m going to dress myself up as a Persian—didn’t you hear? To take in old Menedemus. _Pam._ May I help? _Ph._ Why, yes, If you will do as I tell: you shall be Persian in chief, Swagger and talk the gibberish: I’ll be interpreter. Two are better than one, tho’ one be a tup’s head. _Pam._ Menedemus knows me by sight. _Ph._ Not in a Persian dress. 491 Come, there’s no time to lose. I’ll go to the lady first: What is her name? Antiphila? _Pam._ Yes. _Ph._ And where does she live? _Pam._ I’ll come with you down the road, and tell you all as we go. But let’s be off. I fear Clinia may change his mind. [_Exeunt._ ACT · II _Enter PAMPHILUS._ _PAMPHILUS._ What unjust judges fathers all are towards their children; Pretending to us as they do that the moment we cease to be boys We ought to become thorough old men, without a trace Of the inclinations natural to our time of life: Governing us by the rule of their present appetites, And not by those they have lost. If ever I have a son, He will find me an easy father, able to understand His faults, I hope, and ready to make allowance for them: Not like mine, suspicious & cross—& he never speaks But to read me a lecture on somebody else. Why, bless my soul, If he has but taken an extra glass or two, the tales Of his own wickedness he’ll come out with! And then he says, _By others’ faults wise men correct their own._ What wisdom! He little thinks how deaf an adder he is trying to charm. At present the words of my mistress touch me nearer far, 510 When she says, Give me this, or, Bring me that; and I Have nothing to answer. Nobody could be in a worse plight. This fellow Clinia here has his hands full, yet his mistress Is modest & well brought up, too gentle & innocent To trifle with affection. Mine is a fine lady, exacting, Vain, fashionable & extravagant; & I lack the means To please her fancy. This misfortune is new to me— An experience, which I have only just begun to learn: And as yet my father guesses nothing of it. _Enter Clinia._ _CLINIA._ If all were well, They must have been here before: I fear there’s something happened, 520 Or that in my absence she may have become estranged from me. _Pam._ What now, man? _Clin._ O, I am most unhappy. _Pam._ You had best take care, Or some one coming out of your father’s house may see you.