To write an apology for long beards is to recall to men’s minds their ancient dignity, and that superiority of their sex which has been lost in Europe ever since the fabulous days of chivalry. This too is not the way to gain the good opinion of the ladies, seeing that it’s an attempt to diminish their authority; but at the same time it is restoring, in some respects, the sovereign power to the lawful master, and taking it from the usurper: Moliere says: _Du côté de la barbe est la toute puissance._ Power is on the side of the beard. This is not very polite; but when a man is determined to speak the truth, it is often very difficult to be so. To prove clearly that our priests are obliged, not only by reason, but by human and divine laws, to wear a long beard, is an idea that appears to me as singular as new; but to employ methodically the most authentic and most sacred authorities, to display erudition at every moment, and to preserve always an air of gravity, in order to support this argument, might draw on me, from my readers, the reproach of having given too much importance to a subject that does not appear worthy of it. I will freely confess I have been led away by my subject, and that I thought it necessary to assume the tone of inquiry, because most of the proofs which I shall bring to my aid, are of a nature not easy to be reconciled to the spirit of irony. But this inquiry is sometimes enlivened by diverting anecdotes little known; and though my chapter _Of the Beards of Priests_ is longer and more loaded with citations than the rest, I’m of opinion it will not be thought the least curious. At the conclusion I have laid aside jesting, and this perhaps may be thought the greatest defect; in composing it I found it impossible not to be serious: the gravity of the subject no doubt had an influence on my ideas, and I will not attempt to say any thing in my own defence. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ _TABLE of CONTENTS._ CHAP. PAGE I. _Of Fashion_ 1 II. _Of Bearded Chins_ 11 III. _Of some shaved Chins_ 34 IV. _Of Bearded Women_ 52 V. _That long Beards are 58 salutary_ VI. _Of False Beards_ 66 VII. _Of Golden Beards_ 70 VIII. _Of Whiskers_ 74 IX. _Of the Beards of Priests_ 82 X. _Of the People that wear 131 Beards_ XI. _Conclusion_ 136 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ These changes have been applied to this text.