writhings, which, over and above being abominably nipped, produced the
awful changes recorded above, and at length ended in a sneeze, which he
could no longer restrain. This event had not the expected issue, for
the dame in her fright threw down the candlestick, which she held in
her hand, and extinguished the light. The good miller, now drowsy and
stupid, chid her for being alarmed at the sneezing of a _cat_; and, not
waiting for the poking out of a light from the dying embers, pushed his
wife and himself off to bed, bestowing upon her, by the way, many of
those endearing caresses, which husbands in a good humour lavish upon
their wives; which caresses were certainly as indifferent to her, as
they were doubtless disagreeable to her friend in the clock. Release was
not so soon at hand as the parties sanguinely expected, for though the
miller slept, he took as secure a hold of his faithful dame, as if he
had really been aware of the gaol-delivery she intended to accomplish.
To her last resource, therefore, she was compelled to fly, for the
morning was fast coming on. The miller's sleep was broken by the loud
cries of his wife, who declared she was so ill, she was sure she should
die. She yelled and screamed till the poor man in despair knew not what
to do, and could only cry out _What can I get you, What can I get
you?_ Now the wily dame well knew that _that_ would be the best for
her complaint which was not in the house, so she vociferated _Brandy,
brandy, Oh for some brandy_. The poor husband scrambled up some clothes,
and set off for the nearest public house for some brandy, which
was nearly a mile from his abode. Arriving there, he knocked up the
landlord, who administered the medicine to him. To pay for which, the
distressed husband put his hand in his breeches' pocket, and much to
his own surprise, pulled out a large bundle of bank notes, at which he
stared in amazement; when the landlord cried out, Lord! _you have
got Mr. Farrer's breeches on_. Buckskins, it seems, well known in the
neighbourhood.
"_The Devil I have_," returned the miller, in a tone which came up like
a groan, as he gazed upon his nether man. Quickly comprehending the
secret of the exchange, he pocketed the notes, drank up the brandy for
his own consolation, and went home, moralizing his pensive path, and
gave the hypocritical culprit the soundest beating she ever had in her
life. She, poor soul! who had been charitably employed in the meanwhile,
in letting the bird out of his cage, was not prepared for this
reception; nor did she understand it until the next morning, when the
breeches were cried round the town by her malignant husband, who also
with no pleasant expression of countenance, made a point of turning over
his newly-acquired riches in her presence.
[Illustration: 029]
POINT V. THE JOLLY BEGGARS; OR LOVE AND LIBERTY, A CANTATA. BY ROBERT
BURNS.
RECITATIVO.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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