"But here, gentlemen, here's my famous Balsamum Stubbianum, or Dr. Stubbs's Sovereign Balsam; renowned over the whole Christian world, as an universal remedy, which no family ought to be without: it will keep seven years, and--be as good as it is now. Here's this large bottle, gentlemen, for the trifling sum of eighteen-pence. "I am aware that your physical gentlemen here have called me quack, and ignorant pretender, and the like. But here I am.--Let Dr. Pestle or Dr. Clyster come forth. I challenge the whole faculty of the town of Ashbourn, to appear before this good company, and dispute with me in seven languages, ancient or modern; in Latin, Greek, or Hebrew--in High-Dutch, French, Italian, or Portuguese. Let them ask me any question in Hebrew or Arabic, and then it will appear who are men of solid learning, and who are quacks and ignorant pretenders. "You see, gentlemen, I challenge them to a fair trial of skill, but not one of them dares show his face; they confess their ignorance by their silence. "But come, gentlemen, who buys my elixir Cephalicum, Asthmaticum, Arthriticum, Diureticum, Emeticum, Diaphoriticum, Nephriticum, Catharticum.--Come, gentlemen, seize the golden opportunity, whilst health is so cheaply to be purchased." After having disposed of a few packets, the doctor told the company, that as this was the last time of his appearing at Ashbourn (other parts of the kingdom claiming a part in his patriotic labours), he was determined to make a present to all those who had been his patients, of a shilling a-piece. He therefore called upon all those who could produce any one of Dr. Stubbs's bottles, pill-boxes, plaisters, or even his hand-bills, to make their appearance, and partake of his generosity. This produced no small degree of expectation amongst those that had been the doctor's customers, who gathered round him, with their hands stretched out, and with wishful looks. "Here, gentlemen," says the doctor, "stand forth! hold up your hands. I promised to give you a shilling a-piece. I will immediately per-; form my promise. Here's my Balsamum Stubbianum; which I have hitherto sold at eighteen-pence the bottle, you shall now have it for sixpence." "Come! gemmen," says the merry-andrew, "where are you? Be quick! Don't stand in your own light. You'll never have such another opportunity--as long as you live." The people looked upon each other with an air of disappointment. Some shook their heads, some grinned at the conceit, and others uttered their execrations--some few, however, who had been unwilling to throw away eighteen-pence upon the experiment, ventured to give a single sixpence; and the doctor picked up eight or nine shillings more by this stratagem, which was more than the intrinsic value of his horse-load of medicines. [Illustration: 073]