_Flu_. There is one goat for you, [Strikes him.] Will you be so good, scald knave, as eat it? _Pist_. Base Trojan, thou shalt die. _Flu._ You say very true, scald knave, when God's will is: I will desire you to live in the mean time and eat your victuals; come, there is sawce for it---- [Strikes him] You call'd me yesterday, Mountain-Squire, but I will make you to day a Squire of low degree. I pray you, fall to; if you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek. _Gow_. Enough, captain; you have astonish'd him. _Flu_. I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or I will peat his pate four days and four nights. Pite, I pray you; it is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb. _Pist._ Must I bite? _Flu_. Yes, out of doubt, and out of questions too, and ambiguities.-- _Pist_. By this leek, I will most horribly revenge; I eat and swear---- _Flu_. Eat, I pray you; will you have some more sawce to your leek? there is not enough leek to swear by. . _Pist._ Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see, I eat. _Flu._ Much good do you, scald knave, heartily. Nay, pray you, throw none away, the skin is good for your proken coxcomb: when you take occasions to see leeks hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em, that's all. _Pist_. Good. _Flu._ Ay, leeks is good; hold you, there is a groat to heal your pate. _Pist._ Me a groat! _Flu_. Yes, verily, and in truth, you shall take it; or I have another leek in my pocket, which you shall eat. _Pist._ I take thy groat in earnest of revenge. _Flu_. If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in cudgels; you shall be a woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but cudgels; God pe wi' you, and keep you, and heal your pate. [Exit.] _Pist._ All hell shall stir for this. _Gore_. Go, go, you are a counterfeit cowardly knave: will you mock at an antient tradition, began upon an honourable respect, and worn as a memorable trophy of predeceased valour, and dare not avouch in your deeds any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and galling at this gentleman twice or thrice. You thought, because he could not speak English in the native garb, he could not therefore handle an English cudgel; you find it otherwise; and henceforth let a Welsh correction teach you a good English condition: fare you well. [Exit.] [Illustration: 086] End of Project Gutenberg's Points of Humour, Part II (of II), by Anonymous