"Only weeds," McBride said ten weeks later. "They couldn't be
responsible for this! Ten weeks of breaking our backs and losing our
minds, and you can't even tell that we've done anything. It must be a
nightmare!"
Flaunders was a man all washed out, a man badly stung. How hard for an
optimist to face defeat!
"Ten years," he said reflectively. "That's what it seems like. Thirteen
since we crashed. Lucky number."
"A week since we've had anything to eat," said McBride. "Or has it been
two? Anyway, it's too late to think about a garden. And if you and
Thompson can't find a way to make this stuff fit to eat--" There was no
need to complete that sentence.
Flaunders said nothing, seemingly absorbed in thought.
"Why don't you stop trying?" McBride said suddenly.
Flaunders looked up as if he thought he hadn't heard right. "Why in the
world should I do that?"
"Because as long as you try the rest of us have hope." McBride's sunken
cheeks burned red. He was somehow ashamed of his thoughts, but still
determined to voice them. "Without that hope we wouldn't go on waiting
and starving. There wouldn't be anything to wait for. Maybe there isn't
anyway. Do you actually think there is any hope?"
Flaunders stared for a moment, considering the suicide tendency behind
McBride's words. He turned away, hardly disturbed by the morbid idea.
"I don't really know," he replied at last. "I don't even think any
more. I just keep going like an automaton, not hoping and not giving
up. That's my responsibility. Mine and Thompson's. Maybe we will find a
way and maybe not. The only thing to do is to keep dogging it till we
drop."
"No need to blame yourself for that," McBride said. "God knows you
tried. With all the generators of this and that, the sprayers and fires
and wires strung all over, we looked like we were fighting a real war
instead of one against plants."
Flaunders snorted. "A hell of a lot of good it did. We destroyed
the weeds and the properties of the soil with them. By the time we
reactivated the soil the weed seeds had come on the wind. Same thing
all over again. How much good did the hothouse do us, even with all the
filters? Nearly microscopic seed came in on our clothing, in our hair.
I'd rather fight elephants or pre-historic monsters. At least they're
big enough to see and slow enough to cope with."
These were two skeletons, speaking of starvation under a tree loaded
down with plump, ripe fruit, watching small animals scamper. The easy
way out was all around them. They thought about it.
All together there had been ten men. Now ten skeletons. Now ten
scarecrows with faces unshaven and dirty, with clothing hanging in
tattered strips and extra holes punched in belts. They were slowly
starving to death in the Garden of Paradise, in the land of plenty. And
nothing, you would think, could be worse than that.
But there was something worse. It came shortly. The real Hell started
with a gun.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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