I knew, of course, that I could find a sanctuary and a welcome in many places--in almost any sectarian edifice, any club, any newspaper office, any of the great publishers', any school, any museum; I knew that I would be welcomed at Columbia University, at the annex to the Hall of Fame, in the Bishop's Palace on Morningside Heights--there were many places all ready to receive, understand and honour me. For a sufficiently crippled intellect, for a still-born brain, for the intellectually aborted, there is always a place on some editorial, sectarian, or educational staff. Try It! But I had other ideas as I galloped northward. The voiceless summons of the most jealous of mistresses was making siren music in my ears. That coquettish jade, Science, was calling me by wireless, and I was responding with both legs. And so, at last, I arrived at the Bronx Park and dashed into the Administration Building where everybody rose and cheered me to the echo. I was at home at last, unterrified, undismayed, and ready again as always to dedicate my life to the service of Truth and to every caprice and whim of my immortal mistress, Science. But I don't want to marry her. _Magna est veritas! Sed major et longinquo reverentia._ CONTENTS The Third Eye The Immortal The Ladies of the Lake One Over Un Peu d'Amour The Eggs of the Silver Moon LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS "Dainty noses to the wind, their beautiful eyes wide and alert" "Climbing about among the mangroves above the water" "To see him feed made me sick" "'Kemper!' I shouted.... 'He's one of them! Knock him flat with your riflestock!'" "Say, listen, Bo--I mean Prof., I've got the goods'" "He played on his concertina ... on the chance that the music might lure a cave-girl down the hill" "Moving warily and gracefully amid the great coquina slabs" "I collapsed into the arms of the nicest looking one" "The heavy artillery was evidently frightened" "Somebody had swooned in his arms, too" "'If you keep me up this tree and starve me to death it will be murder'" "Then a horrible thing occurred" "I felt so sorry for her that I kissed her" "Out of the mud rose _five or six dozen mammoths_" "Dr. Delmour used up every film in the camera to record the scientific triumph of the ages" "'Everybody has put one over on me!' I shrieked" "Miss Blythe had carried to her father a large bucket of lettuce leaves" "'Don't let it bite!' cried the girl. 'Be careful, Mr. Smith!'" "Kicked over the bucket of salad, and began to dance with rage" "'It's a worm!' shrieked Blythe" "'Which way do you usually go home?' I asked" "This little caterpillar ... is certain to find those leaves'" POLICE!!! Being a few deathless truths concerning several mysteries recently and scientifically unravelled by a modest servant of Science. _Quo quisque stultior, eo magis insolescit._ THE THIRD EYE