Polite Conversation in Three Dialogues — John Shaqi
Polite Conversation in Three DialoguesSwift, Jonathan
General
Polite Conversation in Three Dialogues
Swift, Jonathan
Conversation -- Humor -- Early works to 1800; Satire, English -- Early works to 1800
It may be objected, that the Publication of my Book may, in a long
Course of Time, prostitute this noble Art to mean and vulgar People:
But, I answer; That it is not so easy an Acquirement as a few ignorant
Pretenders may imagine. A Footman can swear; but he cannot swear like
a Lord. He can swear as often: But, can he swear with equal Delicacy,
Propriety, and Judgment? No, certainly; unless he be a Lad of superior
Parts, of good Memory, a diligent Observer; one who hath a skilful Ear,
some Knowledge in Musick, and an exact Taste, which hardly fall to the
Share of one in a thousand among that Fraternity, in as high Favour as
they now stand with their Ladies; neither hath one Footman in six so
fine a Genius as to relish and apply those exalted Sentences comprised
in this Volume, which I offer to the World: It is true, I cannot see
that the same ill Consequences would follow from the Waiting-Woman, who,
if she hath been bred to read Romances, may have some small subaltern,
or second-hand Politeness; and if she constantly attends the Tea, and
be a good Listner, may, in some Years, make a tolerable Figure, which
will serve, perhaps, to draw in the young Chaplain or the old Steward.
But, alas! after all, how can she acquire those hundreds of Graces
and Motions, and Airs, the whole military Management of the Fan, the
Contortions of every muscular Motion in the Face, the Risings and
Fallings, the Quickness and Slowness of the Voice, with the several Turns
and Cadences; the proper Junctures of Smiling and Frowning, how often and
how loud to laugh, when to jibe and when to flout, with all the other
Branches of Doctrine and Discipline above-recited?
I am, therefore, not under the least Apprehension that this Art will
be ever in Danger of falling into common Hands, which requires so much
Time, Study, Practice, and Genius, before it arrives to Perfection;
and, therefore, I must repeat my Proposal for erecting Publick Schools,
provided with the best and ablest Masters and Mistresses, at the Charge
of the Nation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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