Polite Conversation in Three DialoguesSwift, Jonathan
General
Polite Conversation in Three Dialogues
Swift, Jonathan
Conversation -- Humor -- Early works to 1800; Satire, English -- Early works to 1800
I may venture to affirm, without the least Violation of Modesty,
that there is no Man, now alive, who hath, by many Degrees, so just
Pretensions as my self, to the highest Encouragement from the CROWN,
the PARLIAMENT, and the MINISTRY, towards bringing this Work to its due
Perfection. I have been assured, that several great Heroes of antiquity
were worshipped as Gods, upon the Merit of having civilized a fierce and
barbarous People. It is manifest, I could have no other Intentions; and,
I dare appeal to my very Enemies, if such a Treatise as mine had been
published some Years ago, and with as much Success as I am confident
this will meet, I mean, by turning the Thoughts of the whole Nobility
and Gentry to the Study and Practice of polite Conversation; whether
such mean stupid Writers, as the CRAFTSMAN and his Abettors, could
have been able to corrupt the Principles of so many hundred thousand
Subjects, as, to the Shame and Grief of every whiggish, loyal, and true
Protestant Heart, it is too manifest, they have done. For, I desire the
honest judicious Reader to make one Remark, that after having exhausted
the Whole[2] _In sickly payday_ (if I may so call it) of Politeness and
Refinement, and faithfully digested it in the following Dialogues, there
cannot be found one Expression relating to Politicks; that the MINISTRY
is never mentioned, nor the Word KING, above twice or thrice, and then
only to the Honour of Majesty; so very cautious were our wiser Ancestors
in forming Rules for Conversation, as never to give Offence to Crowned
Heads, nor interfere with Party Disputes in the State. And indeed,
although there seem to be a close Resemblance between the two Words
_Politeness_ and _Politicks_, yet no Ideas are more inconsistent in their
Natures. However, to avoid all Appearance of Disaffection, I have taken
care to enforce Loyalty by an invincible Argument, drawn from the very
Fountain of this noble Science, in the following short Terms, that ought
to be writ in Gold, MUST IS FOR THE KING; which uncontroulable Maxim I
took particular Care of introducing in the first Page of my Book; thereby
to instil early the best Protestant Loyal Notions into the Minds of my
Readers. Neither is it meerly my own private Opinion, that Politeness is
the firmest Foundation upon which Loyalty can be supported: For, thus
happily sings the Divine Mr. _Tibbalds_, or _Theobalds_, in one of his
Birth-Day Poems.
“I am no Schollard; but I am polite:
Therefore be sure I am no _Jacobite_.”
Hear likewise, to the same purpose, that great Master of the whole
Poetick Choir, our most illustrious Laureat Mr. COLLY CIBBER.
“Who in his Talk can’t speak a polite Thing,
Will never loyal be to GEORGE _our King_.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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