And here let me do justice to my Friend Mr. TIBALDS, who plainly confessed before Mr. CIBBER himself, that such a Project, as it would be a great Diminution to my Honour, so it would intolerably mangle my Scheme, and thereby destroy the principal End at which I aimed, to form a compleat Body or System of this most useful Science in all its Parts. And therefore Mr. TIBBALDS, whose Judgment was never disputed, chose rather to fall in with my Proposal mentioned before, of erecting publick Schools and Seminaries all over the Kingdom, to instruct the young People of both Sexes in this Art, according to my Rules, and in the Method that I have laid down. I shall conclude this long, but necessary Introduction, with a Request, or indeed rather, a just and reasonable Demand from all Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, that while they are entertaining and improving each other with those polite Questions, Answers, Repartees, Replies, and Rejoinders, which I have with infinite Labour, and close Application, during the Space of thirty-six Years, been collecting for their Service and Improvement, they shall, as an Instance of Gratitude, on every proper Occasion, quote my Name, after this or the like manner. _Madam, as our Master_ WAGSTAFF _says_. _My Lord, as our Friend_ WAGSTAFF _has it_. I do likewise expect, that all my Pupils shall drink my Health every Day at Dinner and Supper during my Life; and that they, or their Posterity, shall continue the same Ceremony to my _not inglorious Memory_, after my Decease, for ever. [2] This Word is spelt by _Latinists_, _Encyclopædia_; but the judicious Author wisely prefers the Polite Reading before the Pedantick. POLITE CONVERSATION. IN THREE DIALOGUES. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ The MEN. _Lord_ SPARKISH, _Lord_ SMART, _Sir_ JOHN LINGER, _Mr._ NEVEROUT, _Colonel_ ATWIT. The LADIES. _Lady_ SMART, _Miss_ NOTABLE, _Lady_ ANSWERALL. POLITE CONVERSATION, ETC. ST. JAMES’S PARK. _Lord_ Sparkish _meeting Col._ Atwit. _Col._ Well met, my Lord. _Ld. Sparkish._ Thank ye, Colonel. A Parson would have said, I hope we shall meet in Heaven. When did you see _Tom Neverout_? _Col._ He’s just coming towards us. Talk of the Devil—— [Neverout _comes up_. _Col._ How do you do, _Tom_? _Neverout._ Never the better for you. _Col._ I hope, you’re never the worse. But where’s your Manners? Don’t you see my Lord _Sparkish_? _Neverout._ My Lord, I beg your Lordship’s Pardon. _Ld. Sparkish._ _Tom_, how is it, that you can’t see the Wood for Trees? What Wind blew you hither? _Neverout._ Why, my Lord, it is an ill Wind blows nobody good; for it gives me the Honour of seeing your Lordship. _Col._ _Tom_, you must go with us to Lady _Smart_’s to Breakfast. _Neverout._ Must? Why, Colonel, Must’s for the King. [_Col. offering in Jest to draw his Sword._ _Col._ Have you spoke with all your Friends? _Neverout._ Colonel, as you’re stout, be merciful.